


Are we lovers or liars?

by Mimmi_ger



Series: Fools, Sinners, Liars [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Harry Potter, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mistakes, Regret, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, more crazy emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-14 12:22:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14769543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimmi_ger/pseuds/Mimmi_ger
Summary: Christmas Holidays turn out to be rather emotional. Rose misses Severus and regrets their last fight. But not enough that she can´t reach the man, she also has to endure her godfather who is thankfully unaware of her feelings but thus can´t understand her temper. All the time one word leads to the next and they are at each other´s throats. Thank goodness she has Draco to help her cope with the utter chaos that is her life. Or is it only the next problem?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dear ones! :)
> 
> Here is now part 3. The title is again a song by Lauren Aquilina: "Lovers or Liars".
> 
> Before you start, I wanted to thank you again for leaving kudos and comments. You make me so happy! :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

It was the third day now that a whole household tiptoed around one girl. Sirius had tried to be patient, he really had. But Rose hid all day long in her room. Only her friends were allowed inside. Sometimes, for a short moment. It seemed as if Rose could stand not even their presence at the moment.

The two times Sirius had tried to talk to Rose, she´d sent him rather rudely away and as he had refused to go, she´d shouted and no matter how understanding he wanted to be, his approaches ended inevitable in an argument between them until Rose stormed away, smouldering and fuming, and hid somewhere else in the house.

Sirius paced with annoyed restlessness through the kitchen of No. 12 Grimmauld Place while brooding. This couldn´t go on like this. He was definitely fed up with his goddaughter´s behaviour. Determined to put a definite end to Rose´s antics, he walked over to the door.

“Leave her be,” Remus´ called from the high end of the table and lowered the newspaper. He peered intently through the room but avoided direct eye contact with Sirius.

“Because you are now the expert for young women?” Sirius snapped, he was still hurt from Remus´ rebuff and at the moment it didn´t look like they´d be able to patch things up again.

“Boys!” Molly Weasley piped up and waved with a cooking spoon through the air. “You two do all of us the favour and talk things out and Sirius, give Rose the time she needs to come to terms with whatever bothers her.”

“Rose is young, it´s probably only about a boy…” Sirius´ cousin Narcissa Malfoy said. “The young people all know about it, but don´t want to talk either so maybe it´s best when we adults keep our noses out.”

“Quite right!” Molly agreed and both women returned to cooking the Christmas dinner.

It had turned out that Narcissa Malfoy was not at all what everyone had thought. She was in fact very nice and had a lot of humour. She was also a brilliant cook and she and Molly Weasley prepared the most delicious meals and everyone was eager to taste todays Christmas specialties.

Anyway, it was no wonder Draco loved his mother dearly, even though she made him regularly cringe and blush when she called him “My baby boy” and stroked affectionately over his hair.

The mood in the kitchen, however, shifted from irritated to sulking as Remus lifted the newspaper again as if to hide behind it and Sirius returned to restless pacing, while muttering a steady stream of rants under his breath.

Everyone gazed surprised up as the door opened with a low creak.

“Rose!” Remus said as said girl entered the kitchen, the first time since she was back at home. She looked tired and pale and her eyes where red rimmed and swollen, but she held her head high and looked belligerent around. Her gaze met shortly with Sirius´ and then she turned to Remus. “Can I talk to you?”

“What?” Sirius yelled, “With him you want talk? Am I nobody?”

“It´s about school, you think you can help me there?” Rose replied challenging, her voice cold and dismissive.

“Yes of course!”

“Sirius…Honest? I don´t care. Remus?” Rose looked not even at Sirius, instead she raised questioningly her eyebrows as she waited for an answer from Remus.

Sirius turned red and stormed, cursing vilely, out of the room.

Reluctantly and with more than a bit bad conscience, Remus followed Rose up into her room.

“Could you cast a silencing charm?” she asked as he closed the door behind them.

“Rose…”

“Do it or go,” she snapped.

Sighing, he cast the charm and waited for her to start speaking.

“I need to see Severus.” Rose looked determined.

“Why?”

“Because he ignores me. I wrote him, but he doesn’t bother with answering me. I really need to talk to him.”

“What happened between you?” Remus asked, his brow furrowed. Of course he had heard about the fight. No one in Hogwarts had not heard about it, really, but until now neither Rose nor her friends had elaborated the topic.

“Short or long version?” Rose asked and sat down onto her bed, gesturing for Remus to take the chair at the desk.

“I don´t mind, just tell me.” Remus leant back on the chair and watched Rose cautiously.

“You went to him, after I came to your office, didn´t you?” She suspected he did, because he was gone as she woke up, but they hadn´t talked about this day yet.

Remus frowned briefly before he answered, “Well yes. I had to hear from him why he used illegal substances to interrogate students.”

Rose nodded, she´d probably done the same if someone had come to her with such a story.

“Rose, what happened last week?”

“Remus…” Rose started but couldn't stop the sob from bubbling up. Suddenly her whole composure went downhill and brokenly she told of Severus´ own confession and how things had developed upon that.

“Please help me,” Rose pleaded desperately.

“I´m sorry, darling, but I can´t. Give him some time to think about your words and I´m sure at some point he will answer your letters.”

“And if not?” Rose asked feebly. Her face was red and damp from weeping and she looked still pleadingly at Remus.

Remus stood up and sat down next to her. He put carefully an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

“Severus is a complex character, but if his feelings for you are sincere he will talk to you.”

“But he expects me to forget him and find someone else,” Rose snivelled into Remus´ side and heard him sighing.

“Maybe his advice, as hard as it seems…” With a jolt Rose jerked away and scowled at Remus.

“No. I won´t look for someone else. Or can you? Can you simply stop your feelings for Sirius and find someone else?”

“I don´t want to talk about Sirius now.” Remus stood up and walked rigidly to the door, detaching the silencing charm.

“You´re stupid!” Rose shouted. Remus turned with his jaw set, he looked not less angry than her.

“Don´t poke your nose into things you don´t understand.” Quickly he stomped away.

“Oi, that sounds not nice,” a familiar voice stated.

“Fred,” Rose sighed, perfect timing, like always.

“Am I coming at an awkward moment?” The twin asked and entered the room.

“The truth? Yes.” Rose was just tired and thought about how her life had become such an emotional mess.

“Ok…then…I go and we´ll see us later. Maybe at dinner.” Fred started to retreat, head lowered sheepishly, something that sorted rather ill with his usual bright nature.

“No, wait,” she stopped him, holding her hand up. “Stay. Actually, I´m glad to see someone else.”

Rose mustered the will to give him a small smile and patted the place next to her.

“You want to talk about what´s wrong?” Fred asked cautiously and sat down beside her.

“No…Actually not…”

Fred made a noncommittal sound and sat for a moment in awkward silence on Rose´s bed. His gaze roamed through the room, but he tried to be not too obvious, though after another moment he started fidgeting as well.

“Sorry, I can´t keep my mouth shut,” Fred blurted finally. “What the hell have you done that even Remus shouts at you?”

Rose sighed deeply and thumped her head against the wall.

“I dared to comment on him and Sirius…” Rose scrunched her face. “Oh Merlin…Sorry Fred, I need to find him.” She jumped up and hurried out of her room.

At first she went upstairs and looked in Remus´ bedroom, but there was nothing except one cardigan, neatly draped over a chair by the window and piles of books on the nightstand and any other available surface across the room. Rose smiled and plunged again into her search. From his room she scoured the whole house until she found him finally in the kitchen. Rose grumbled lowly about her own idiocy. Of course Remus was in the kitchen, it was closest to the newspaper and tea and most of the day farthest from Sirius who spent his days sulking in his own room.

“Remus?” Rose asked meekly and gazed anxiously at the newspaper. With a rustle, Remus folded the paper backwards and raised one eyebrow at Rose. Cautiously she walked closer, hesitated a moment and then sat down on the edge of the table, tugging the Prophet out of Remus' hands to put it behind her.

“I´m sorry. I don´t want to fight with you, too.”

Remus regarded Rose with a long, unreadable look before he chuckled lowly, rose and pulled her in his arms.

“Don´t worry, darling. We´re fine.”

Rose closed her eyes and smiled happily, at least Remus carried grudges not endlessly.

Though of course in exactly that moment, Sirius chose to come back to the kitchen. Immediately he took the displayed scene of affection in and jumped to the conclusion…the wrong one.

“So, that´s it? No wonder she talks to you,” he spat and everyone in the room turned surprised or confused towards him.

“You don´t think…?” Rose stared at her godfather in disbelieve.

“Sirius, you misinterpret this,” Remus frowned and held one placating hand up, Rose at his side nodded.

“Oh, am I?” Sirius sneered and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“You really think I would hook up with Rose? Especially her of all people?”

“Who knows? It´s obviously easier to show your feelings for her.”

“That´s something completely different,” Remus sighed exasperated and raised one eyebrow at Sirius´ pout. “Think what you want, you won´t believe us anyway. But don´t complain afterwards!” Remus shook his head. He had by now really enough of arguments with Sirius.

“I wouldn´t complain about anything if you would finally pull your head out of your arse and stand to your feelings!”

“Blimey Sirius, we spoke about it and I thought you would understand me!”

“You! You spoke about it and ignored my opinion.” Sirius pointed accusingly at Remus who tried to show more composure than he felt.

“I´ve never ignored your opinion. I…”

“Of course, you still do and you care a fuck about my feelings and that you hurt me!” Sirius turned furious and stormed, door-slamming, away.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. He startled as Rose carefully wrapped her arms around him again.

“You really should consider to change your mind,” she said softly, leaning her head against his chest.

“I can´t. I just can´t,” Remus whispered troubled. His hands lay on Rose´s shoulders and their eyes met as she bent her head and looked up before she touched gently his cheek. “Then you´re indeed stupid. You´re so afraid to lose him that you don´t see that this is happening already. Don´t be a fool.” Rose shook her head. “Remus, you can have all what you want, you just need to grab it and hold on to it. Do it. Do it because I **really** can´t.” She stretched up and kissed him softly then turned and left with a sad smile.

Remus watched her go. He plunged with a tired sigh heavily down on his seat and buried his face in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Boxing Day started just like the previous day had ended: with loads of food.

Molly and Narcissa tried quite apparantly to outrank every meal over the Christmas holidays or to fatten them all, no one was sure about that. But either it was the one or the other, under their capable hands, even breakfast mutated into to some kind of small feast.  

“I'll never again eat anything when Christmas is over,” Rose sighed and flopped down onto her bed next to Hermione.

“I know what you mean. And no eggnog either…I still feel queasy.”

“Yeah…What about Ginny? She looked a bit pale at breakfast.”

“From what I heard, she and the toilette had a very deep conversation last night,” Hermione said with a pitying half-smile.

Rose chuckled and closed her eyes.

“You seem happier,” Hermione said into the silence and turned onto her belly to see Rose better. 

“I don´t know if I´m happier, but Christmas spirit might´ve gotten me finally. Or it´s having all the Weasley´s around. Charlie is definitely a boost for everyone’s mood.” Rose grinned. It had been kind of an initial shock as Charlie arrived the day before unexpected and bluntly announced he wanted everyone to meet a special person in his life and had then dragged his boyfriend in. Molly had almost fainted. She´d still assumed Charlie would never have a partner no matter what sex. But Oliver was a nice guy and everyone loved him right from the start. Though the brown haired young man was still a bit shy around them. But then, who could blame him? The Weasley´s had practically launched themselves at the poor man and interrogated him thoroughly until Charlie had shown pity and saved him from his family.

“Yeah, Charlie and Oliver are really cute. And Charlie is at least as much a prankster as the twins…But I wished with all the family around I had more time with George alone. It´s virtually impossible to have just one minute without anyone around or bursting into the room…” Hermione sighed.

“You could just tell everyone,” Rose suggested. She wondered anyway why they kept it still a secret.

“No, we don´t want to. Not yet.”

“I don´t understand it, but ok. It´s your choice and not mine.” She shrugged. “But for your extra time with George, you could sneak away after dinner, when everyone is too lazy to properly look around and see who´s missing. You can go upstairs and I occupy Fred. I need to talk to him anyway. I think he still keeps his hopes up.” Rose frowned. A lovesick Fred Weasley had no room in her life, not with everything going on, or better not going on, with Severus.

***

Rose watched first Hermione and shortly after George slip out of the kitchen.  Most of the people had already retired to the living room, what left only Rose, Ron, Draco, Fred and Ginny at the kitchen table. Rose and Fred exchanged a look after George was gone.

"Uhm...someone interested in a game?" Ron asked into the silence.

"I know something better," Fred grinned, disappeared into the storeroom and came back with three bottles of eggnog.

"Oh no, not again," Ginny whined and developed an unhealthy greenish complexion. "You can drink this terrible stuff alone." She stood up and left rather hurriedly.

"Well, more for us," Fred smirked.

"Fine, but let's go somewhere more comfortable," Draco suggested.

"To the library?" Rose asked and the others agreed.

They removed the furniture in front of the fireplace and lounged on big pillows. Most of the time, they just watched the flames flicker and didn't talk at all. It was really cosy and Rose felt herself drifting away until a loud clatter made her almost jump.

"Uh I'm sorry," Ron mumbled. Tipsy as he was from only a few glasses, he had knocked the remaining full bottle down.

"Twit," Fred teased but kept from further mocking as he saw how Draco sneaked an arm around his brother's neck. As Ron didn't back away Draco dipped down to press a little kiss onto Ron's lips. Rose saw Ron tensing at first, but Draco grasped his neck and pulled him with his other hand almost completely into his lap. Ron seemed to relaxed and then, finally,  kissed Draco back. Draco made a small, content sound and wrapped his arms more firmly around Ron. Rose grinned like an idiot and pulled Fred up with her to leave the boys alone but much more to prevent Fred from commenting.

They walked up into Rose's room and made themselves comfortable on her bed.

"A drink for the lady?" Fred asked with a smirk and procured the last bottle of eggnog from behind his back.

"But of course," Rose smirked back and leant her head against the wall. She was slightly tipsy herself and felt pleasantly drowsy.

"You knew of Ron and the Malfoy boy?" Fred asked as he sat at her side. She turned her head and noticed that Fred was only a hand's breadth away. His gaze was sharp and alerted something in Rose. The sleepiness vanished completely.

"Yes. I knew. I'm glad Ron stepped finally out of the box he hid in the last months, even if only with alcohol's help."

"Sometimes alcohol just helps to find your courage," Fred whispered and without warning leant in to kiss her. Rose felt a bit light-headed, but as Fred´s tongue swiped over her upper lip, she opened her mouth willingly to let him in. By the time they broke the kiss, Rose felt slightly giddy and like she'd done something forbidden. Fred, equally breathless, watched her with an odd expression.

"Fred…I can't do that," Rose said apologetically and moved away. “We really should´ve talked already. I mean, I really like you. But this here is not right.”

Somehow Fred looked almost relieved.

"Rose, you don't have to justify yourself. If you hadn't said it I would have done it myself. I like you too, but I just realised that I like Hermione more. Don't be angry, ok?" he said with a boyish smile.

"Thank Merlin. Let's forget about it, then," Rose sighed. For the sake of occupation she sipped on her drink. "And now?" she asked.

"I think I might go down and join George and Minny." Rose smiled as she heard this nickname for her friend. Then she remembered. "Oh...maybe that is no good idea..."

"I´m sure they don´t mind and by the way I'm pretty sure that nothing happened until now."

"How would you know?"

Fred tapped against his nose and smirked.

"Twin sense."

Rose raised her eyebrows but laughed.

“Well, I guess, then good luck,” she said mostly to Fred´s back as he left.

Sighing, she leant back and thudded her head against the wall. She felt the alcohol rush through her body. Ginny was definitely right, it was terrible stuff.

Rose closed her eyes, but immediately her thoughts returned to Severus like always nowadays. Kissing Fred had been nice, but he wasn't Severus who she missed so much that it hurt. How could she ever take her words back? Anyway, would he even talk to her? It was not beyond him to stop their extra lessons and ignore her. She knew she wouldn't be able to cope with Severus being all cold and distanced towards her. Bloody idiot. Why couldn't he do what they both wanted? And how could he even be so presumptuous to make decisions for her?

A door slammed shut and brought her out of her brooding. She perked up and heard Draco's muffled ranting. Obviously it didn´t went that well with Ron either.

It took Draco a moment to open as Rose knocked and as he saw her, he just turned and flopped down onto his bed. 

“What has he done now?” she asked and lay beside him.

“He shoved me away as he realised what he was doing and ran away,” Draco huffed.

“Forget him.”

“Oh yes, because it´s so simple. Maybe you can advise me how that works.” Draco glared at Rose.

“Ha!” Rose laughed briefly and humourless. “Maybe we should ask Severus, he was the one suggesting I should go and fall in love with someone else, so he might have the instructions for it.”

“We should found a club,” Draco sneered and turned onto his back.

“Yeah the club of those whose love interests are idiots,” Rose huffed.

“Brilliant! Let´s start right now.”

It was so silly, both started giggling and the alcohol rushing through their veins made the rest and left them snorting and gasping for air.

“I could sneak down and haunt Ron if you like,” Rose said after sobering.

“How that? You´re hardly invisible.” Draco looked rather doubtful.

“But I can be…” Rose smirked.

“How?” Draco gazed suspiciously up and down the length of her body.

“I have an invisibility cloak.” She shrugged casually as if it would be the most normal thing in the world.

“You have…But of course you have...” Draco slapped himself. That explained a lot. He remembered very vividly their third year and how he, Crabbe and Goyle had been attacked with mud, but neither of them could see the attacker.

“Wait. I´ll show you…” Rose went into her room and came back moments later, already under the cloak. She closed the door behind her and waited a moment before she tiptoed closer. She lifted the hood just enough that her face stayed invisible, but the fabric didn´t hinder her. She bent down and pressed her lips on Draco´s.

“Woah!” he yelled before he composed himself and felt through the air until he found Rose. “That´s interesting.”

Rose climbed on top of the still reclining Draco and sat on his lap.

“Can I ask you something?” Rose asked.

“You need to stay invisible?”

“Yes.”

Draco sighed and shrugged.

“It´s just, I wondered…That one day in the Room of Requirement as Hermione came in, would you've…” Rose knew he couldn´t see her, but she felt how her face grew hot and her cheeks darkened crimson.

“Yes. I guess I wouldn´t have stopped unless you'd asked me to.” Draco swallowed and licked over his lips. He became now overly aware how Rose sat above him and his heart beat faster as he willed his blood to stay out of his trousers.

“Oh.” Rose breathed shakily.

Draco fisted the fabric around her and yanked it away. Their eyes met. Rose´s breath quickened in anticipation and then Draco sat up and crashed their mouths together. The kiss was heated and accompanied by a lot of grabbing and tugging on each other’s clothes. It was only a matter of moments and utterly ungraceful until both were stripped to their underwear. A bit clumsily Draco tried to open Rose´s bra until she swatted his hands away and did it herself. As soon as her breasts were free, Draco cupped one and kneaded the soft flesh while he sucked the nipple of the other into his mouth. Rose gasped in surprise and buried her fingers in his blond hair.

Her heart beat even faster as she felt Draco´s erection trapped between them. She rocked her hips experimentally forward and grinned as Draco gasped. He abandoned her breasts and lifted his face. They stared at each other, unspoken questions in their eyes.

Rose´s head reeled. This here was not exactly how she´d imagined her first time, but who knew how long she´d have to wait otherwise if she didn´t seize the opportunity. Draco was certainly not a bad choice, was he?

Draco´s hands distracted her from her thoughts as they slid over her back and down to the curve of her hips.

“Rose,” he sighed and suddenly rolled them around and rested between Rose´s legs.

Draco dipped down and kissed her while one hand stroked over her belly and reached – only a bit hesitantly – the seam of her briefs. Exploratory Draco stroked down between Rose´s legs. With a shuddering breath she moaned into his mouth and pushed on his boxers. Draco complied readily and sent them flying to the rest of their clothes, Rose´s last piece of hindering fabric followed in its wake.

“I want you,” Draco whispered hoarsely, his finger slipping tentatively inside her. Rose gasped. It felt foreign to have someone else touch her this way but a good foreign, arousing, and she wanted more. It couldn't be wrong when she wanted it, right?

“Yes,” she said and felt Draco tremble. Without stopping to stroke her, he fidgeted on his nightstand until he held triumphantly a silver package up.

“Best invention the Muggles ever made,” he said slightly breathless.

Rose eyed him curiously.

“Have you planned this?”

“No, not really. But Pansy thought last year it would make a great birthday gift.” Draco shrugged nonchalantly.

“Enough info,” Rose said and made a face. Pansy was not really a topic she wanted to discuss while Draco had his hand between her legs. “And will you use it or just show me?”

“Don´t be so impatient,” Draco chuckled but came to his knees.

But Rose was rather impatient as she waited for Draco to already open the sachet. She let her hands travel down his chest and well-toned abdomen. A small voice in her head tried to call her to reason, but she ignored it happily and wrapped one hand around Draco's erection. Draco hissed sharply and thrust forward, his eyes drifting close.

As much as she liked toying with Draco and watch him come undone through her hand, all at once it took too long and she feared her resolution might crumple if they wouldn't do it already.

“Come to me. I want to feel you,” Rose whispered and was surprised how easy it was to voice her thoughts.

She looked up and spread her legs further. Draco inhaled as the tip of his cock nudged against Rose and exhaled shakily as he pushed forward.

“Oh sweet Salazar,” Draco moaned as he breached her and couldn´t help but push all the way in. Only as Rose hissed due to the sudden intrusion, he recollected the sensitivity to stop and hold still.

Rose breathed shakily but smiled, though a little wan.

"I'm fine. You didn't hurt me. Move." It had hurt, but she´d endured worse in her life. Compared to other situations, the little pain was really nothing and faded already.

There was little finesse as Draco complied and moved. They tried and failed gloriously to find a joint rhythm but it was effective enough to become more aroused with every whatsoever clumsy thrust.

“Oh gods…” Draco moaned. “Rose…I…oh…”

“Wait,” Rose said and pushed at Draco's shoulder, but he grunted and jerked his hips before he pressed deep into her and stilled.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as his breathing had slowed down. He scrambled to his hands and knees, looking with a crumpled, apologetic expression at her.

Rose made a slightly grumpy humph-sound. She´d been not even close to her own orgasm and that Draco had finished so quickly dampened her arousal further.

“Let me make it up to you,” Draco said and stretched out next to her, his hand wandering over her thigh.

“No. It´s ok. Let´s just...I think I go to bed,” Rose stumbled over her thoughts as she tried to bring them into sentences. It was not that she felt like pouting now, but somehow she neither felt like making out further.

“Come on, don´t be like that,” Draco purred against her neck. His hand reached its destination and Rose felt her resolve crumple. Cheekily Draco rubbed one finger over her sensitive centre and Rose gave in. Her eyes fluttered shut as she moaned softly, encouraging Draco to more thorough ministrations.

“That´s it. Relax,” he murmured.

With closed eyes, Rose couldn´t help but think of Severus. Her mind jumped into action and created the most erotic fantasy she'd had so far in her whole young life. As long as Draco kept his mouth shut, Rose could pretend it was not him but Severus stroking her. And fast, faster than she´d thought possible, she was on the brink of her release. Rose moaned as the tension peaked and then rolled in waves over her.

“Severus,” she gasped and went slack.

“Not exactly,” Draco smirked.

Rose´s eyes flew open and heat rose into her cheeks, colouring them a deep red.

“Oh god, sorry. I´m sorry, Draco.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, suddenly serious. “Does that mean you regret it?”

Rose swallowed. She had at the moment no idea what she thought about it, really. For a first time it had been probably not that bad. Sure, one part of her wished she'd be with Severus, but the other part was actually rather content to lie next to Draco.

“I don´t think so. You?”

“I don´t think so,” Draco replied with a soft smile.

Reluctantly he rose and disappeared into the adjoining bathroom. As he came back and cuddled beside her, Rose was only barely awake. She shifted into a closer position with her head tucked beneath Draco´s chin and draped one arm around his waist.

She mumbled a slurred, “Good night,” and both slipped easily into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm, yes, well...Thoughts?
> 
> Honest? I hadn't planned that, but while writing, Draco had other ideas and changed my whole storyline for the next chapters.   
> Stubborn character :D and paired with hormones, alcohol and general frustration tends to be an explosive mixture with surprises and turns that weren't planned, quite apparently.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...yesterday´s chapter was quite a controversal topic as it seems.  
> Thank you for all your comments, I appreciate every opinion. I´d like to satisfy everyone, though that´s hardly possible.  
> Here now a new chapter, let´s see how you like that :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

A short, sharp knock at the door woke Rose and Draco, but before they had time to comprehend the current situation sufficiently or to even pull the blanket fully over their naked and entwined bodies, the door flew open and Narcissa Malfoy strode into the room.

"Mother!" Draco cried and yanked his blanket over Rose and partly himself. "It's not what it looks like," he added, but his deep, red blush belied his words thoroughly.

Narcissa quirked an elegant eyebrow but smiled knowingly.

"Well last night it sounded exactly as it looks like at the moment."

Rose groaned and hid only deeper under the covers.

"I understand that young people do such things especially under the influence of alcohol and even more so with a broken heart. I don´t care as long as you prevent lasting damage…But that's not why I am here. Actually the whole house is searching for Rose. Maybe you want to dress and relieve the anxiety everyone experiences at the moment." With another smile she strode gracefully out of the room.

Groaning, Draco fell backwards onto his pillow.

"Please tell me that it was a nightmare and your mother didn't told us she overheard us last night and hinted she hoped we used contraceptives," Rose pleaded muffled from her hiding spot.

Draco lifted one corner of the blanket and peered under it.

"I don't think I can do you this favour." He slid a bit down to fit better next to Rose. "But we need to talk about it."

"Yes, but not when maybe every second the next one bursts into your room. I'm not eager to confront Sirius or Ron like this." Wrapping his blanket around herself, she stood up and gathered her strewn clothes from the floor. Draco watched her amused.

"Will you bring my blanket back?" he asked as Rose peered out into the hallway.

"No." She stuck her tongue out and scurried over to her own room.

Dropping her clothes and the blanket on the floor, she walked into her little bathroom and stepped under the shower.

"Damn," she mumbled softly and turned her face in the spray. Closing her eyes, scenes from the last night bubbled up behind her eyelids. She had lost her virginity. To Draco...Merlin!

She opened her eyes and turned the water off. For a moment she´d thought there was a knock. Shrugging, she reached for the soap.

"Rose, are you in there?" Hermione's voice sounded from outside the bathroom.

So indeed a knock.

"Yeah I'm here. Just a minute." In fast mode she washed herself and walked wrapped in her biggest towel with dripping wet hair into her bedroom.

"Hey!" She surveyed her friend closely and then grinned.

"Hey..." Hermione grinned back.

"News?"

"Quite."

"Just let me get dressed and tell everyone that I'm ok and then we both need to talk," Rose said and disappeared behind the door of her wardrobe.

***

“No Sirius! It´s absolutely none of your business where I am at night. Not as long as I don’t leave the wards!” Rose yelled outraged. Everyone was perfectly happy that she was there and well. Everyone except her godfather.

“Then you can tell me damn well what you did that you haven´t slept in your own bed! Maybe it´s the same reason Remus wasn´t in his bed either,” Sirius shouted back.

Rose stilled. He was kidding, right?

“For fuck´s sake! Will you stop this blasting nonsense?” Rose stared in disbelieve at Sirius. In the background she saw Remus rub one hand over his face in an exasperated gesture.

“Watch your tongue young lady!”

“Really?” Rose sneered.

“Really.” Sirius towered glaring over her, crowding her personal space.

“You think you frighten me with your demeanour? Sod off!” Rose spat.

With head whipping force, Sirius slapped her. Dead silence flooded the room. Rose held her cheek and glared hurt up at Sirius before she turned around and rushed away.

Sirius stayed paralysed where he was. His hands trembled and his mouth gaped open.

Then suddenly turmoil broke loose as from all sides angry voices crashed over him, in particular Remus´.

***

“Rose?”

“Piss off!” Really, he had nerves to come to her. Rose turned on her bed and tried to listen further to the music.

Damn, her life was a mess. The man she loved, she couldn´t contact and even if, he would most probably not talk to her, not after their last “conversation”. One of her best friends was the one she had shared her first time with and she was not sure if it was a mistake or not. And the man who was the closest to family she had left constantly started arguments.

Cautiously she touched her cheek. It was still hot and tingled painfully.

“Rose, please…I´m sorry.” Sirius knocked again. “I made a mistake.”

“Quite!” Rose answered but stood up and clicked the lock open. In contrast to her, Sirius could use magic and a door was then no real obstacle.

Rose turned the music off and crossed her arms.

“What?” she asked gruffly.

“What happens with us?” Sirius sat down on her bed and looked with puppy-eyes up to her.

“We spend time together and obviously we see a lot of things different. More than we thought before.”

Pleadingly Sirius extended his hand in Rose´s direction. She took it with a sigh and let herself be pulled closer. Sirius lifted his wand and touched her bruised cheek as he mumbled a healing charm.

“I always despised men who beat women,” he said ruefully. “Can you forgive me?”

“Why are you so short tempered the last days? And why are you suggesting time and again that Remus and I are involved? You know perfectly well that this is rubbish.” Rose looked down on him but opposed to her harsh words, she stroked softly one strand of his ebony hair out of his eyes.

“Yes, of course I know but…God, you have no idea how painful it is to love someone who loves you back but finds always reasons why he can´t be with you.” Sirius shook his head and smiled sadly then he saw Rose´s expression, a mix of anger, pain and something like a wounded animal. His heart stuttered.

“Rosie?”

Rose tried to swallow her tears and gave him a watery smile. She knew perfectly well how exactly that felt what he'd described.

“I´m sorry that you´re so hurting,” she said and hoped he would confuse her tears for sympathy. “And I´m sorry that I yelled earlier.”

“It seems that we´re both slightly irritable lately,” he chuckled.

“I was the whole night with Draco in his room. We´d filched a bottle of eggnog and talked…We fell asleep and only woke up as Narcissa knocked and told us that everyone´s looking for me,” Rose confessed finally and felt her face getting hot as she thought what else had happened last night.

“That´s all? And for that we got at each other´s throat?” Sirius shook his head in disbelieve. Rose shrugged and grinned.

“Actually we were snogging and I didn´t want Ron to know…”

“You…” Sirius broke out in loud, barking laughter. It was so contagious that Rose started giggling. It felt good to just sit next to her godfather and laugh instead of shout at each other.

“Oh goodness…My goddaughter and a Malfoy…Blimey!”

“No, it´s not like that. We´re just friends, nothing more. But we were maybe a bit tipsy last night,” Rose grinned cheekily.

“Ok. But I don´t mind. Actually I learn to like this part of my family. Narcissa is far more entertaining than I feared and best of all she´s an unspeakable talented cook.” Sirius grinned.

“Yeah…I can see that.” Rose chuckled and patted Sirius´ stomach.

He growled a bit at her before getting sincere again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You and Snape. You still, well, like each other?”

Rose was unsure if that was the right topic for them, but she wouldn´t tell him the whole story, anyway.

“We do. I know you can´t understand it, but I learned a lot from and about him the last months. I trust him.” Though he hurts me more than anyone ever did, she added in thoughts.

“Dumbledore trusts him too. Maybe I´m wrong and you are right, but I can´t forget the past.” Sirius stopped fiddling with his wand and gripped it hard, staring down on the floor.

“Sirius, don´t get me wrong ok, but what have you to forget? You were the bully and he the victim of mostly your boredom and self-display.” The first moment it looked like just another argument would start, but then, to Rose´s surprise, Sirius nodded.

“He told you about our school time?”

“No. I saw a memory in our Occlumency lessons. He put thoughts he didn´t want me to see in his Pensive. One day he was away and I looked into it and saw you and the others. You and dad were so mean. Just for fun. And Remus sat next to it and just watched you humiliate Snape. The only one who tried to help was my mom.”

“But only until he insulted her finally too.”

“I know. But she helped him before. Why did you made a mockery of him, anyway? What had he done to you except existing? **You** have obviously no idea how it feels when you are all alone and this one gang bullies you for their own amusement.” Rose gazed at Sirius, wondering if they **now** would argue again.

“Your cousin,” Sirius stated darkly.

“Yes. Dudley and his friends harassed me all those years. So I understand somehow why Snape hates you so much.”

“And that brought you closer?” Sirius couldn´t believe it.

“No, not exactly. But that I apologised for my behaviour and tried to stop being a brat around him. Blimey, we spent loads of time together over the summer. I´m glad we´ve changed the way we see each other.”

“I can´t do that,” Sirius shook his head. Slowly he peered over to Rose who frowned.

“You don´t have to like him, but maybe it´s time to let the past stay in the past.” Rose hoped somehow she and Severus would listen to that advice too if he ever were inclined to talk to her again.

“Lily would be damn proud of her sensible and grown up daughter,” Sirius said and kissed Rose´s forehead. “I can´t promise that we won´t hex each other, but I´ll try, for you. If you like him I should be able to tolerate him at least.”

Somehow Rose´s heart got lighter as he said that. Sirius hugged her briefly and then stood up and nearly walked into Hermione as he opened the door.

“Shoo,” Hermione waggled her hands. “Girl´s talk.” She closed the door and turned to Rose. “Everything ok between you?”

“Until the next fight,” Rose shrugged but then grinned and looked expectantly at Hermione. “So?”

“I´ve done it…” Hermione squeaked excited and crawled next to Rose on the bed.

“Yes? More than cuddling?” 

“Yes, but it took Fred to get anything started…” Hermione giggled. “God, George and I have not even kissed after we left. It was so awkward the whole evening. We tried to talk but somehow it was just awful and then suddenly Fred walked in and told us he had realised that he loved me and not you and he simply came over and kissed me and from then on…Blimey at some point I was not sure whose hand was where and whose mouth were the one on my mouth and whose on…well…” Hermione blushed.

Rose laughed.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes. I don´t think I was ever happier.” Hermione´s eyes glittered and she smiled broadly.

“Then I´m happy for you.” Rose hugged her friend who just moved a bit away and gazed at her suspiciously.

“But what have you done last night? I mean everyone was out this morning because Sirius bolted into the kitchen and panicked that you were not in your room and haven´t slept there either.” Now it was Rose´s turn to blush. She was unsure if she should tell Hermione the truth.

“Come on,” Hermione pushed but as Rose only shifted uncomfortable, her eyes widened. “You were not with Remus, were you?”

“What? No! I was the whole night with Draco,” Rose said vehemently.

“Thank goodness.” Hermione sighed relieved. “So it was his blanket then…Earlier on your floor, I mean.”

Rose closed her eyes and cursed herself inwardly for being so foolish. Only now she realised she could have simply used her cloak to go back to her room.

“Yeah…It was.”

“And you had it why?”

“Because I…needed it?”

“And you needed it why exactly?”

“Because I was naked?”

“Rose! You and Draco?” Hermione gasped.

“Yes?” Rose asked with an awkward grin.

“Oi, you naughty girl!” Hermione slapped her on the shoulder but laughed. “Really I don´t know how you make it, all men fall for you.”

“Last time I counted it was only one and he doesn´t want to be with me but encouraged me to find someone else what I did now…well sort of,” Rose stated bitterly.

“You have to count Draco.” Hermione just ignored the Snape-issue. “He loves you. In some strange kind of whatever.”

“I love him too. In some strange kind of whatever,” Rose admitted and grinned.

“And now? Are you together?”

“No, I guess…We haven´t talked about it yet.” Rose shrugged. She had to talk to Draco. What if he thought they were a couple now? No matter that she loved him, it was still not the kind of love she felt for Severus. And besides that, she wanted no one else, not for a relationship.

“You should talk, shouldn´t you?” Hermione asked.

“Yes. But before you came I made peace with Sirius first. Sex talk can wait.” Rose giggled. “Blimey, just think about it, we both lost our virginity last night.”

Hermione rolled over until she faced Rose again. Her expression was rather serious and Rose stopped grinning immediately.

“Ron won´t like it.”

“Probably not. But I can´t change it anymore. Mione, stop scowling at me. I´ve done nothing wrong, have I?”

“Maybe not wrong but…How can you sleep with Draco, just like that? It was your first time and that should be something special, or not?” Hermione bit her bottom lip.

“It was special, only not with the man I wanted it to have. But it´s done…” Rose turned to lie on her back and stared at the ceiling. “I miss him.”

Hermione opened her mouth to answer as it knocked and George opened strangely civilised with a cautious expression.

“Am I interrupting? There are newcomers who want to see you two…”


	4. Chapter 4

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The newcomers turned out to be Luna and Neville who waited in the library.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Rose asked surprised but happy.

“Dumbledore brought us here. He scheduled an Order meeting and obviously we two and you three are regular members now.” Neville shrugged and pointed at Rose, Ron and Hermione. Rose saw Draco´s face darken so she laid one hand on his arm.

“I´m sure you can come, too.”

“Of course he can, he belongs to us,” Luna said and smiled at Draco who considered her with an odd expression.

“Wotcha!” Bright pink hair flopped up and down as Tonks bounced into the room. “We're ready to start.”

The group talked cheerfully on their way downstairs, but the mood changed the moment they entered the kitchen.

“Looks like bad news,” Draco whispered and felt how Rose tensed up beside him. Like so often the past months, he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple. Though today it felt just a little bit awkward and unfortunately Ron chose this moment to peer over to them. He frowned but turned away as Hermione nudged him to find a seat.

The kitchen was as crowded as back in summer and reflexively Rose searched for Severus. Draco, who noticed her look around, touched her elbow and shook softly his head.

As the group of friends had been the last ones to arrive, Dumbledore stood up and nodded as they took a seat. 

“Thank you for your attendance. We have three points for today. The first one will be announced in tomorrow´s Daily Prophet edition, but I thought it wiser to inform you beforehand.” Dumbledore made a small break before he went on, “With the beginning of the new year Minister Fudge will resign from his position. He finally defers to the discontent of the people and will be substituted by Rufus Scrimgeour. Scrimgeour is, in another way, as complicated to handle as Fudge was and we need to see how he will fill his position and what his plans are, especially concerning the rebellious groups.” Dumbledore looked around, seriously shaking his head as several Order members attempted to say something to the matter.

“The second topic concerns the poorly and inconsistent reporting of the Prophet about the raids. We spoke already about it, more than once I might say, but I found finally two trustworthy persons who are willing to inform the wizarding population properly. Please, you may come in now.” For the last part Dumbledore had raised his voice. The door to the kitchen opened and a commotion started as Molly Weasley first shrieked and then jumped up to hurry over to the door where her long-lost son Percy stood, next to his girlfriend Penelope Clearwater.

“Thank you, Percy and Penelope, for coming,” Dumbledore said with a smile after Molly had finally released Percy from her tight hugging-attack.

In the following twenty minutes, Dumbledore explained in detail how he would give the two young journalists and new Order members the information they would need. The main aim would be to tell the truth about the raids and the real dimensions they already had. The Ministry still smothered the fact that the repetitive attacks were not only the deed of Death Eaters. They still dared to glorify the new group, which was now officially called “Anti-Death-Eaters” in lack of more inspiration.

Apart from that the wider Wizarding population had no idea that both groups fought against each other. Anti-Death-Eaters, still attacked Death Eater families but had started to widen their field to pure blood families in general in deep conviction that those were the root of all evil. Bellatrix and her people on the other hand attacked everyone with whatever farfetched connections or loyalties to Dumbledore or, as it appeared lately, random Muggle pubs and locations.

Rose could only shake her head, why couldn´t people just life together without being cruel and murder each other? And why the heck was the Ministry not able to give proper information? What did they gain by smothering the truth?

Rose looked around and saw a lot of people obviously sharing her thoughts. Remus caught her gaze and huffed lowly with a weary expression.

“Hopefully we succeed with better informing people in the future, especially with the whole truth and not only what our Minister wants the population to know,” Dumbledore finished and sipped on his cup of tea.

He looked around after placing the cup back on the table. His expression was darker now and as he gazed directly at Rose, she felt her heart stutter.

“I´m afraid our last point is more delicate,” he said with a weary sigh, finally tearing his gaze from Rose. “To my utter sorrow I have to tell you that Bellatrix uncovered Severus´ true alliance.” Rose gripped the edge of her chair. If Bellatrix knew about Severus, then there was a reason he wasn´t attending today’s meeting. Rose stared over the table to Dumbledore, begging him silently to reassure her that her worst fears weren´t true. But the man sighed as if the weight of the whole world rested on his shoulders. He silenced the shocked whispers as he cleared his throat to continue. “I must admit that I had an argument with Severus last Friday. He informed me that he would quit as Bellatrix' spy, as well as mine. I´m sorely afflicted that I might´ve miscalculated his inner turmoil and the reasoning behind his decision. Had I known how upset he really was, I hadn´t let him go, but so Severus was apparently drunk as Bellatrix called him that night. Given the circumstances of his condition, she found not much resistance and simply invaded his mind where she found proof that Severus was never loyal to her cause. She punished him for his treachery and sent Lucius to deposit him, actually with the result to let him die. Gladly it was Lucius Bellatrix entrusted with this task. He brought Severus home and informed anonymously St. Mungo´s before he came then to me.” Dumbledore stopped and looked suddenly even older than he was. His skin seemed more wrinkled and his eyes appeared oddly dull without their usual twinkle. Rose had listened with growing horror, but seeing the usually strong and reassuring man now in this state froze her from inside. She did neither notice her trembling body nor the carefully watching gazes from Remus and Draco.

“How is he?” she whispered barely audible, but Dumbledore looked up and sighed.

“He is severely wounded and barely responsive. He has lost a lot of blood, but it is the Dark Mark and whatever Bellatrix has done with it that bothers the Healer´s and me. Lucius couldn´t help much, either. Bellatrix altered Severus´ Mark and it hinders now every treatment of the wounds. I spent the majority of the last days with a team of Healers to circumvent the effects. We might have found a solution, but it has to be tested first before I can affirm it.”

Rose drew in a strained breath that sounded like a muffled sob. The room was suddenly too small with too many people. Her chair clattered backwards as she jumped up. She stumbled out of the kitchen.

Dumbledore gazed worriedly after the obvious devastated young woman.

After Rose´s hurried escape, several people had also risen from their seats, but it was Charlie who was closest to the door, who volunteered to go after Rose and see if she was all right.

Listening carefully, he heard stifled crying out of the library. There he found Rose curled up in one of the chairs, trembling violently while tears streamed down her face.

“Oi, ducky…Come on, why are you so upset about Snape?”

Rose looked up and was astonished to find herself face to face with Charlie. She´d assumed one of her friends or at least Remus or Sirius would follow her but had never thought about Charlie. Her surprise must´ve been blatantly obvious as Charlie chuckled lowly.

“Don´t look like you´re seeing a ghost.” With a smile he handed her a handkerchief. Rose dapped lightly at her eyes. “Well, use it properly. No need to give it back, though.” Charlie grinned and flopped into the opposite chair. He waited until Rose had blown her nose before he asked again why she was so upset.

Rose peered hesitantly across the coffee table. She was not sure what to answer, but Charlie took some of the burden from her.

“I guess you like him.”

“Yes. Strange as it is. But we grew rather close since he started giving me extra lessons in Potions,” Rose admitted lowly.

“I see and yes it is strange to find someone who actually likes Snape. Though, I´m also one. Okay, we were never close, but I respect him. I noticed already early in my school career that you can learn a lot from him when you listen carefully. And he´s incredibly funny when you understand his humour, what I had to learn the hard way.” Charlie shrugged and grinned mischievously.

“You´re the first person who admits to like Severus. That is, apart from Dumbledore.” Rose smiled sadly and cast a sheepish glance towards Charlie.

“You´re allowed to call him by his first name? Wow, I´m impressed.”

Rose only shrugged and looked then for long minutes into the flames, tears welling up again. Why would he want to quit as a spy? Was that all about their fight? Had he gotten drunk because she´d called him a coward? Was that in the end only her fault?  

“Oh Rose…” Charlie came over and perched on the armrest of her chair to pat gently her shoulder.

“I´m so afraid that he dies. The last time I saw him we argued and I called him a coward.” Rose sobbed now bitterly, her body shaking. “Gods…The last thing I said to him can´t be that. He´s a lot of things but no coward.”

“I´m sure he knows that you…”

“No. I meant it. In that moment, I meant it.” Rose buried her face in her hands.

A small knock made Rose flinch.

“Thank you Charlie, would you leave us alone, please?” Dumbledore entered the library and took the chair opposite Rose who looked at him in utter confusion while she dried her face once again.

As they were alone, Dumbledore started speaking.

“I´m sorry to bring you such disturbing news, Rose.”

She had no idea what to respond so she kept silent.

“I understand that you and Severus are close and it must frighten you to hear that he´s so badly injured.”

“We´re not close,” Rose whispered feebly around the lump in her throat.

“You´re not? Well, but then why are you so upset?” Dumbledore´s eyes were kind and Rose felt the urgent need to tell him the truth but still said nothing. She couldn´t stand the man´s resentment for her feelings. That was surely not what he´d had in mind as he had asked Severus to teach her.

“Rose, my dear girl, don´t lie to me. I know about most things happening in Hogwarts and I know for sure when two people like each other. I have two old but healthy eyes and I know what I see.” He smiled gently and watched her.

“I don´t like him,” Rose whispered, the lump in her throat growing. “I love him.” New tears ran down her cheeks and she was unable to stop them.

Dumbledore´s smile became sadder, the twinkling dimmed a little.

“How good for him that you return his feelings.”

“You know?” Rose asked shocked.

“He told me as a part in our argument. He only kept answering to Bellatrix to ensure your safety. Not for me or the Order only for you.” The old man rose and stared for a moment into the flames before he turned with fierce expression. “Rose, I do everything for him what I am able to do. It is my fault what happened. I asked him to spy again and I never thought, indifferent how upset he might have been, his cover would blow. I´m afraid I lost my focus and failed to see how conflicted he was all the months. How much he suffered and I haven´t noticed until he showed me. I failed him. I failed him greatly.” Dumbledore sighed and tears shone in his bright eyes, making them twinkle again. “Please accept my apologies, Rose.”

With a small bow, he left before Rose had gathered her thoughts enough to reply anything. Rose curled once again up in her chair, the one Severus had sat in during their tutoring sessions, and not long after Rose´s friends swarmed into the library.

“In the kitchen is still crisis meeting,” Fred said gloomily. The mood was generally depressed as they sat around the fire. No one talked. Everyone glanced repeatedly to Rose until she finally couldn’t stand it anymore. She jumped up and rushed wordless away. Draco, who himself was all the time close to leaving, reacted immediately and followed her.

“Draco…” Rose whispered as Draco caught her on the threshold to her room.

“Oh god Rose,” Draco said and embraced her desperately. They clung to each other as if they'd lose the ground beneath their feet when they'd let go. After a moment Draco took Rose´s hand and led her into the room. Hugging each other tightly they sank onto the bed.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some talking is due...

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Rose opened her eyes. Bits and pieces of her dream still clouded her mind and she tried to figure out where she was. It was dark outside and this was not the dormitory in Hogwarts, though the room looked nonetheless familiar. Next to her, someone stirred.

"Severus?" she whispered. Had it been no dream after all? She turned expectantly but only came face to face with Draco.

But of course. She was at home and Dumbledore...right...Draco had wrapped her into his arms and obviously they must´ve fallen asleep. Rose shifted cautiously and watched Draco.

Only Draco. Not Severus.

The longer she looked the more uneasy she felt. Good gracious. What had she done? She groaned and moved away.

Draco grunted sleepily and opened one eye.

“Rose?” he asked and blinked the second eye open. “What time is it?”

“Late.”

“Wow, very informative,” Draco muttered.

“Blimey, why don´t you turn around and have a look?” Rose snapped and sat up, back resting straight at the wall.

“Are you ok?”

Rose only shrugged and then shook her head. Nothing was ok at the moment.

"I thought I´m ok with it,” she said lowly. “But now…We shouldn´t have done that. I feel like I cheated on him. Fuck, Draco, what have we thought?” Rose shook her head again.

“Oh it´s about that…Yeah. Yesterday, it seemed like a good idea, didn´t it?” Draco pursed his lips and tried to catch Rose´s gaze, but she stared down at her knees. “Rose?” He touched her elbow.

Rose looked up, brows drawn together. “It was a shitty idea.” She plonked her head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. With her eyes, she followed a crack from one side of the room to the other where it spread into a cobweb of smaller cracks.

“I won´t argue that. But do you have to be so prickly about it?” Draco sounded rather annoyed and Rose turned her gaze away from the cracks, peering over.

“Prickly? Fuck Draco! I lost my bloody virginity to you. Don´t you think I have the right to be a little emotional?” she whisper-shouted. The last thing she wanted right now was Sirius or someone else bursting into her room.

“As if you are the only one who lost her virginity,” Draco retorted, glaring at Rose.

Rose deflated and rubbed over her temples. She felt miserable. “Why do I everything without thinking? It´s always the same. I plunge head first into situations and afterwards..."

"Afterwards you regret it," Draco finished her sentence.

"Yes. And I feel stupid." Rose shifted. She pulled her pillow from behind Draco and wrapped her arms around it.

“So we agree that it was a mistake. We can´t take it back, though. Are we now mad with each other?” Draco asked unfamiliar uncertain.

Rose shook her head. “I don´t want to be mad with you. And I´m not, really. If at all I´m mad with myself.”

They shared a glance during which Draco pursed his lips, clearly contemplating something.

“Can we stay friends?” he asked eventually.

“Can we?” Rose arched an eyebrow.

“We could pretend it never happened," Draco suggested. He smirked to lighten the mood, but Rose raised only her second brow.

“Yes?”

“Damn Potter, work with me and don´t question everything I say.”

"Yeah, Malfoy,” Rose sneered. “Lovely idea. Let´s just erase yesterday from our minds and pretend you never fucked me," she snapped. But the second the words were out, she regretted them. Seemed to become a habit. "Sorry, Drake. Damn, I didn't...That's really fucked up and..."

Draco stopped her stammering with pulling her over the bed and into his arms.

"Shut up, Potter and don't overreact about nothing."

"It was not nothing, was it?" Rose said and gave up to struggle against Draco, instead snuggled into his side.

"What was nothing?" he asked innocently.

"You know exactly...oh...Nothing. Nothing was nothing and nothing happened at all."

"Good girl," Draco cooed and patted her arm.

"Draco?" Rose asked after almost ten minutes of only slightly awkward silence. "Are you tired?"

"Nope...But hungry. We missed dinner. Do you think there are leftovers in the kitchen?" he asked hopeful. So hopeful Rose chuckled.

"You sound like Ron."

"I do not!" Draco groused and stood up. "Are you coming?" He held the door open.

The kitchen seemed not to be deserted for long. It was still warm and the fire flickered, though not brightly anymore, casting shadows through the room.

Rose and Draco went straight to the assortment of pots and peered inside. After filling two plates they sat down and started their late meal.

"Do you think Ron will someday change his mind?" Draco asked into the silence after clearing his plate.

"I hope he will. I think you could be really cute together.” Rose put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. Draco watched her and again silence spread between them. It was awkward and Rose didn´t want it to be awkward. “Why is it now more complicated than yesterday?”

Draco frowned, leaning back in his chair. “I guess it´s normal with what happened between us and…”

“I thought nothing happened.”

“You started it,” Draco muttered and then, “Bloody hell, if Ron ever learns about us…He will never be with me,” Draco groaned. “We really messed that up.”

“Ah, you know my little brother is too oblivious to everything apart from food, he won´t realise unless you tell him,” Charlie said out of the blue and the next second the lights flared up, revealing Charlie and Oliver at the far end of the table.

Both Rose and Draco looked startled.

“Were you here all the time?” Rose asked.

“Oh, um…yeah…We hadn´t thought someone would come back down…”

“Oh.” Rose looked from Charlie to Oliver. “OH…Oh god, sorry…uhm…”

“Relax ducky, isn´t like we´ve been fucking on the table,” Charlie chuckled.

Oliver muttered lowly, “Close enough,” but then he laughed. “Who wants tea?”

The four spent the rest of the night in the kitchen, talking and drinking tea. Rose seized finally the opportunity to learn more about Oliver. As it turned out he was from America with no living relatives and that he and Charlie had met was more an accident than planned.

“I was on vacation. Only a trip through Europe, nothing special until my boyfriend dumbed me all of a sudden and without warning in the middle of nowhere. Left me stranded with only the clothes I had on me. No money, no papers, not even my wand,” Oliver explained.

“And then I came along, his knight in shining armour,” Charlie added with a broad grin.

“Oh yeah, you were so shiny, covered in dragon dung from head to toe.”

Rose choked on her tea and Draco had to thump her back. “Merlin,” she wheezed with tears in her eyes. “You´re impossible, both of you.”

Oliver grinned. “Anyway, Charlie offered his couch for the night and somehow I never left again.”

The men looked at each other and smiled.

“You´re cute,” Rose said, watching them.

In the early morning, Remus stumbled to them into the kitchen and started as he saw already someone sitting at the table. He gazed suspiciously from one to the other. “Something wrong?”

“No, we talked…” Charlie said, shrugging casually.

Remus nodded. He took a cup from the shelf and sat next to Rose. “How are you?”

Rose´s mood dropped immediately. She´d managed not to think about Severus for the last hours. Remus noticed the change. “I´m sorry.”

“Yeah. It´s ok. Had Dumbledore said anything else?”

Remus shook his head. “He left after he´d looked after you. He´d gotten a note from St. Mungo´s that they were about to start the treatment and asked for his presence.”

“I´d like to see him,” Rose whispered, but she knew already that Sirius would never allow it.

Remus pressed her briefly at his side and kissed her hair. “Narcissa planned to visit Severus. She will tell us how he is.”

Rose knew better than to argue. She only hoped Narcissa would bring good news when she was back.


	6. Chapter 6

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

It was harder to follow Draco and his mother on their way to the hospital than Rose had imagined. Not only was Narcissa light on her feet, but the never ceasing crowd of people around them made it difficult to keep track and not bump unintended into someone while keeping the invisibility cloak tugged around her. In her head, it had seemed like a fabulous idea, but in reality it lacked some practicability.

Rose was hugely relieved as they finally reached St. Mungo's.

But there awaited them only a bad surprise. The Healers wouldn't let them into Severus´ room so they stood outside and looked through a window. Rose had a little and almost silent breakdown at the sight of Severus´ unconscious and beaten form. He looked horrible and Rose couldn´t stop thinking that it was entirely her fault. Had they not argued, he´d certainly not gotten drunk and therefore Bellatrix had never learned the truth.

Draco turned fiercely around after the first shock had subsided. He raged and argued with the Healer in charge, an elderly and friendly but determined man. Slowly they moved further down the corridor into a conference room. Rose heard the door click shut and Draco´s angry voice got muffled.

A soft hand touched her still invisible shoulder and made her flinch. She had completely forgotten about Draco´s mother.

"It is ok. I won't tell anyone," Narcissa murmured.

Rose slipped out from under the cloak and gazed at the other woman.

"How could you know?" she asked sheepishly.

"I had a feeling and thought I heard someone." Narcissa´s blue eyes pierced into Rose's pained, green ones until Rose turned her head away and peered again through the window towards Severus, swallowing thickly.

"How long, dear?" Narcissa asked, gentle concern colouring her voice.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked confused without looking at the woman.

"How long have you feelings for him? No," she held her hands up as Rose opened her mouth to negate her. "Don't deny it. A woman knows those things. And by the way, I saw you together and how you reacted first to his summoning and then his return. **And** I saw your face as he embraced me." A small smile played on Narcissa´s lips. She had now Rose´s full attention.

"Since about that time. It took me some weeks to acknowledge my feelings.” Rose trembled softly.

"I'm glad he has someone who cares about him. He needs it because he deems himself not worth such attention and struggles so much with the concept of closeness."

“But he don´t want me to.”

“Did he tell you that?” Narcissa arched astonished her eyebrows.

“Yes. He told me that he returns my feelings, but that we can´t be together. I don't know what I can do." Rose sobbed bitterly and leant her forehead against the window.

"That is so Severus…” Narcissa sighed “Anyway, you should go in. I´ll help Draco distract the Healers." Narcissa smiled at Rose and turned to join her son in a seemingly forlorn argument. The noise level rose briefly as Narcissa opened the door and Rose heard Draco´s fervent arguments before the door closed again.

Rose was now all alone on the corridor. She felt unsure and her hand hovered for several moments over the door knob before she slipped silently into Severus' room. 

The smell was overwhelming: the typical hospital mixture of disinfection and healing potions paired with something sweet and heavy like rotting fruits. Rose´s stomach churned in revolt, but she breathed deep in and waited until the nausea lessened.

She wanted to rush to his side but couldn´t bring herself to do so. So instead she tiptoed to the edge of the bed. The closer she came, the more dreadful Severus looked. His skin was so pale it was almost transparent. He was covered with a simple cloth that was soaked with his blood and stuck to his body. Rose shuddered as she noticed that not one single wound was healed but still bled and looked raw and angrily red from infection. That must be what Dumbledore had meant. Whatever Bellatrix had done with the Dark Mark it prevented the Healers from closing Severus´ injuries.

"Oh god," she sobbed lowly, "what has she done to you?" 

Composing herself as good as possible, she stepped at Severus' side and hesitantly took his hand. It was cold, but his fingers twitched at her touch. A faint, sad smile scurried over Rose´s face. She squeezed the hand she was holding and stroked over Severus´ forehead which was cold too, almost unnatural icy. Cautiously she touched the small unbruised part of his cheek.

"Please Severus, fight. Come back to me. I can't lose you. I love you." She brushed some tears away that continued falling against her will. "I'm so sorry. I didn't...I was so frustrated. You are no coward." She squeezed his hand again and his eyelids fluttered softly.

“Severus? Are you awake?” Rose´s heart raced rapidly in her chest as she watched him. His eyes rolled behind closed eyelids, his fingers twitched again in her hand. Rose stroked softly and with utmost care over his cheek and then she bent forward, brushed her lips in an almost not there touch over his and Severus´ eyes opened, though only a fraction.

Rose gasped. His eyes looked dull and broken, the white was bloodshot, but he seemed to recognise her. His mouth opened and closed as if he´d struggle to form words.

“Shush, it´s ok.”

Severus groaned.

“I´m here. Everything will be good. You´ll see. I´m here, I´m…”

"What are you doing here?" A voice came from the door. Rose jerked startled and turned. A young man in Healer robes watched her with a deep frown.

"I..."

"You belong to them?" The Healer pointed to Draco and Narcissa who stood not far from the window outside the room on the corridor. Rose nodded.

"Your...dad?" he asked hesitantly. Rose was at first all about to disagree with him for confusing her for Severus' daughter but kept silent. Her eyes darted towards Severus and she felt her cheeks colour, but then she turned her gaze back to the Healer and nodded. 

"We´ve been so worried as he didn´t come home," she said with a high teary voice that was not all too difficult to play. "What happened with him?"

The Healer looked uncomfortable out of the window to the older Healer, probably his superior.

"Please," Rose pleaded with big green eyes and reached out to grip the man´s hand. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Severus' fingers stretch as if he´d search for her touch. Quickly she let go of the Healer and took Severus´ hand, holding it and stroking her thumb reassuringly over his palm.

"Ok...well...I don't think it will hurt. He came here last week, he was badly injured. You see the obvious wounds. We tried to heal them but without success, until yesterday. We found a new treatment with the help of an African exchange colleague and Professor Dumbledore. You might know him.” The young man looked questioningly at Rose who nodded. “This treatment is highly alternative but it seems to work. It is too complex to explain it in detail, though."

"Will he be all right? He looks so..." Rose shrugged uncertain how to end her sentence.

"Don´t worry, the bleeding will stop eventually. Though he will have scars, but apart from that he will live. We are sure that…"

"Tristan! What are you doing there? Why is the girl in here?" The older Healer appeared in the door, a stern look on his face.

"She's his daughter and I..." Tristan stammered.

"She is not! This man has no family!"

Tristan looked to Rose who only shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile.

"You need to go now. As I understand, Professor Dumbledore will share every detail with involved persons as soon as we know something new," the older Healer said and gestured for Rose and the Malfoy's to leave.

Out of earshot Draco turned to Rose and asked, "Your dad?"

“This Tristan person said it and I didn´t contradict him.”

“That was very Slytherin from you.”

Rose grinned and, feeling lighter than before, allowed Draco to wrap his arm around her shoulder as they left the hospital.

***

“Where have you been?” Sirius shouted as soon as Rose entered No. 12 Grimmauld Place, invisibility cloak casually draped over her arm.

“In the hospital with Draco and his mother,” she answered dismissively. She had no intention to discuss this with her godfather, not now.

“You…You risk your life with leaving the wards to visit a dead man?” Sirius snapped incredulously. Indifferent what he had said prior about accepting Snape, he definitely didn´t accept that Rose risked being killed by Bellatrix or her sidekicks.

Rose ducked away under his arm and stormed the stairs upwards, her feet thumping loudly on every step.

“He´s not dead!” she shouted back over her shoulder. In her room she banged the door close only for Sirius to burst in a moment later, a stream of shouts following in his wake.

“I don´t understand you! How can he be more important than your safety?”

“He **is** my safety,” Rose said vehemently. “Without him…I…Damn Sirius, he saved me more than once,” she finished weakly. It was exhausting to always fight with Sirius about one and the same thing and never reach a truce. He´d never understand her and he did not even try.

“Why? Blimey Rose, why is this man suddenly so damn important for you?” Sirius was determined to make her tell him finally why she was so quickly angry or upset when it was about greasy Snivellus. What had this git done to his goddaughter´s head?

“Just drop it.” Rose turned away from Sirius and rummaged in an alibi distraction through her desk.

“Look at me and talk!”

“Sirius, honestly leave it be and go.” Rose wished dearly she could use magic to make him go. If that would be clever was quite another thing she simply refused to think about.

“Not before you haven't told me what´s wrong with you. And don´t say it´s nothing. You came home with a bad mood enough for three teenagers and since then you´re always raging or crying.” Sirius stood with crossed arms between Rose and the door.

Rose turned abruptly around and clenched her fists.

“Gods Rose, please, talk to me,” Sirius pleaded.

“You won´t go? Fine! I will!” She started to pass him, but Sirius grabbed her wrist and held her back. Rose spun around and glared at him, supressed the urge to shove him away, though even barely. As he once again opened his mouth to push her further into conversation, Rose closed the gap between them with a quick step and smashed their mouths together. She didn´t thought about what she was doing only that it stopped Sirius from retorting, quite effectively.

It was all but nice or tender. The kiss was angry and violent. One of her hands fisted into Sirius´ shirt while the other clamped down on his neck to hold him in place. Though, if she´d given a closer inspection of her situation, she´d noticed that Sirius didn´t even try to pull away. After the first split-second of surprise it was more the opposite. His hands had hung slack at his side until Sirius brought them up to rest on Rose´s back. Gradually the kiss turned into something less violent but still miles away from tender.

Only a small part of her brain seemed to work generally and as it finally caught up with the situation, Rose gasped and pulled away. Quickly she brought some distance between them, Sirius´ hands slipped from her back.

She´d kissed Sirius. Rose had kissed Sirius. And more startling than that, he´d kissed back.

Rose stared horrified at her godfather. What the holy fuck was wrong with her lately?

Rose swirled around to flee but stared directly in Remus´ surprisingly collected face. She halted briefly but didn´t stay. She couldn´t. So she rushed away and left the house to the only outside place she was officially allowed: the backyard. It was freezing cold there and she had no jacket, but she couldn´t go back inside. Desperately she wrapped her arms around herself and slid in the furthest corner down to the frozen ground.

***

Remus walked into Rose´s room and closed the door behind him. Sirius stood still in the middle of the room, gaping dumbstruck into thin air and touched his lips. Sighing, Remus closed the distance between them and touched his arm.

“Don´t give it too much thought. Rose has a hard time and she is out of her mind. She hasn´t considered it fully. You can talk to her later about it.”

“I kissed her back,” Sirius said softly, disbelieving about his own actions.

“Yes, I saw it. But you were both emotional. Book it as displacement activity and forget it,” Remus said and laid his hand on the other man´s face, cupping softly his cheek.

Sirius closed his eyes and stepped away.

“Don´t do this to me, Remus. I love you and you don´t want me, so don´t raise my hopes.”

“You are so brave. You always have been and I am not. I´m frightened. I´ve lost you and then fate gave you back to me and I´m terrified to lose you again,” Remus said quietly, shaking his head to himself.

“Then stop running away from me.”

The men stared at each other, Sirius pleadingly and Remus torn, ambivalent about his feelings and actions.

“Yes,” he whispered finally and stepped closer to Sirius.

“What?”

“Yes, you're right. I need to stop running away,” Remus said and gave Sirius a small smile. “I don´t want to be alone anymore. And you are brave enough for both of us.” He felt something knotted inside him fall apart as Sirius wrapped his arms lovingly around him.

“Are you sure? Because I will never again let you go.”

“Oh I hope so,” Remus breathed. His words ghosted over Sirius´ lips, but it was Sirius who closed the gap and brought their mouths together in a sweet and unhurried, tender kiss.

***

“Here you are,” Remus said as he found Rose finally in the backyard. Seeing her on the cold ground, pale and shivering, he clicked his tongue. “Rose! It´s too cold without jacket. Come inside with me.”

“No. I can´t go back in there.” Stubbornly Rose wrapped her arms tighter around her knees and buried her head in the triangle between.

Remus crouched down next to her, but even after a few minutes, Rose didn´t look up but trembled even more. Softly he touched her shoulder.

“I spoke with Sirius.”

“You did?” she asked. Her voice muffled because of her legs.

“Actually, we kissed.” Remus grinned and grinned wider as Rose´s head jerked up and she stared at him. “It was about time to listen to you and bring myself to see what I want and what I need. In both cases it´s Sirius. And you were right to call me stupid.” Remus stood up and extended his hand towards Rose.

“You´re impossible!” she groused but allowed him to pull her to her feet. Remus chuckled and spread his arms. Thankfully Rose stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Being enclosed into the warmth of Remus´ body felt wonderful and Rose noticed how cold she was, but then she remembered something else.

“Severus was so cold,” she whispered.

Remus tightened his arms around her and kissed briefly the top of her head.

“Narcissa told us what happened and she said the Healers are quite positive today.”

“They are. But…He was...It was horrible.”

“He´s strong. He makes it.”

Rose turned her head to lean her forehead against Remus´ chest. She wished she could stay like this because right now her life was simple. Remus held and warmed her. Nothing more, just this. Apart from that, her life was one big mess, especially recently. First Draco and now that. By Merlin what had she thought to kiss her godfather?

“I need to apologise to Sirius,” Rose said and scrunched her face.

“Later. Now we go in and you drink something warm. We don´t want you to miss the Weasley firework for New Year´s Eve because you have a cold, do we?” Rose heard the smile in Remus´ voice and peered up.

“No, we don´t want that.” Rose grinned and let Remus lead her in the warmth of the house.


	7. Chapter 7

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"Where is Rose?" Dumbledore demanded to know as soon as he appeared in the kitchen. The whole room´s occupants turned startled their heads, no one had expected to see him here today.

"Still in bed, I guess," Sirius mumbled while chewing on his roll.

"Go fetch her. Hurry." Dumbledore waved at Sirius who looked confused but did as instructed.

Rose took not even the time to dress.  She simply slipped in an old and much too large hoody before she hurried past Sirius and almost flew downstairs.

As she stumbled into the kitchen, Dumbledore placed his tea cup with a chinking sound on the table and rose to his feet.

"Rose!” The old man smiled broadly. “I had to tell you myself. Severus is fully awake now. The treatment is successful."

Rose came to a full stop and stared for a split-second at Dumbledore before she made a strangled sound, something between laugh and sob, and then flung her arms around the Headmaster´s neck.

"Oh thank goodness," she sobbed and couldn't stop the tears. Dumbledore patted soothingly Rose's back and had tears in his eyes, too, but smiled all the while.

Neither of them acknowledged the rather confused looks most of the others exchanged.

As Rose finally let go of the Headmaster she was a little embarrassed about her reaction and lowered her gaze to her hands. But Dumbledore patted softly her shoulder.

“I´m confident he´ll stay not much longer in St. Mungo´s and you´ll see him soon back at Hogwarts. Please excuse me now, I need to return to Severus,” he said and left as suddenly as he´d appeared.

Rose looked up. Remus smiled softly and nodded. In the background Draco whispered with his mother. Narcissa glanced briefly at Rose and looked like she wanted to say something, but Sirius cleared his throat.

“You were really worried about that bastard, weren´t you?” he asked quietly. The whole room fell silent and all eyes were on Sirius and Rose, awaiting a new argument, but Rose only shrugged. The mood between her and Sirius was tenser than usual these days and though they´d agreed to never again mention the kiss, this agreement couldn´t erase the knowledge that it had happened and added to their discomfort around each other.

“You know I was.” She smiled sadly as she saw the uncomprehending expression on her godfather´s face but shrugged only again and left.

Severus was on the way of recovery. That was good. She really felt relieved, but a bitter taste remained. Their last argument was still too fresh and she feared to speak with him again as much as she anticipated it.

Rose wandered without destination through the house and found herself finally in the library. But of course the library, the place where she had spent so much time with Severus. There on the table lay even still one of her potions books. Her potions books. Rose laughed softly and walked over to pick the book up. Actually it was one of the books Severus had lent her and had never reclaimed. Almost lovingly she stroked over the cover and opened it on the marked side. _“Theoretical approach to brewing for diseases of the mind”_ it read in the headline. She remembered how she´d planned to ask Severus about his opinion to some of the ideas.

Somehow she missed how it had been back in summer. Not that it had been simple to tuck her feelings away, but at this point those feelings had been not in the way. Now they were, at least to some degree, and she had no idea how to straighten things, to make it easier again to talk to each other or be in each other´s presence. Was that even possible with them both wanting something different?

Damnit, all she wanted was being close to him, but all he gave her were more sorrow and heartache.

An unexpected but soft touch on her arm startled her that much that she jumped and almost screamed. Only now she noticed the tears on her face and that she held the book tightly pressed to her chest. She whipped around and looked into Charlie´s slightly worried but otherwise curious face.

“Sorry, I didn´t want to frighten you.” He grinned apologetically.

“It´s ok.” Rose wiped over her face and put the book aside. She really should let Madam Pomfrey check her, she´d never cried that much in all her life, that couldn´t be healthy.

“Excuse my nosiness, but Dumbledore´s appearance was rather confusing…not to say utterly odd.”  

Rose had no idea what to say to that so she just looked at Charlie and waited.

“You know, it seems strange that he drops by just to tell you in person that one of your teachers feels better, no matter that you take extra lessons with him. It leaves me wondering how close you actually are.” Charlie cocked his eyebrows.

Rose drew in a deep breath and licked over her lips. 

“Charlie…” Shaking her head she closed her eyes and let her breath out in a puff. “We´re really close, but it´s fucking complicated and I was so frightened to lose him,” she confessed lowly but didn´t dare to look Charlie in the eyes. The more surprised she was as he touched her cheek and tilted her head up.

“Oh ducky. You love him, don´t you?”

Rose said nothing, but she knew the answer was anyway blatantly obvious written all over her face because Charlie smiled sympathetically. “I believe that´s quite a burden to feel that way for a man like Snape.”

Rose snorted humourless.

“By Merlin, you´ve no idea.”

“So, then, how close is close?” Charlie wriggled cheekily his brows and leant conspiratorially closer.

“Not as close as I wanted it to be. We´ve kissed and he told me he had feelings for me,  but that´s exactly why it´s complicated.” Charlie´s eyes widened, but he kept silent to give her room to go on. Rose was unsure how much more she should tell him and for thinking about it sat down in front of the fire. Charlie settled next to her and together they watched the flickering flames. Slowly Rose began to tell him the story of Severus and her so far. As she started to describe the first time back at Hogwarts they were joined by Oliver. Rose didn´t mind and just went on and ended with Dumbledore´s relieving visit.

The two men watched her silently until Charlie shook his head.

“Blimey, what are you doing? I really hope you sort it out, otherwise you´ll write and I´ll come over and have a word with him. Maybe it helps when someone finally tells him to pull his head out of his arse and stand his man. Merlin, really, he can't toy with you like he did. Either he wants you or he doesn´t.”

Rose smiled. It was kind of sweet how Charlie talked himself into rage about it.

“Ok, I promise to write to you but only when you promise you´ll don´t rush into Hogwarts and yell at Severus or hex him or whatever.”

“He won´t, I´ll make sure of it,” Oliver winked and put an arm around Charlie. “But I´d be happy if you´d write anyway and keep us informed.”

“Yes, yes of course,” Rose smiled. She watched the men and realised how much she liked them. She had known Charlie before, but only now she spent really time with him and noticed how easy it was to talk to him and also to Oliver. Somehow they had sneaked into her life and already had a part in her heart. Following a sudden urge she hugged first Oliver and then Charlie.

“Thank you for listening.”

***

Rose stood wrapped in Draco´s arms and watched in awe how Fred and George shot their firework into the crisp night air. Every once in a while she peered over her shoulder at Ron and Draco who constantly sneaked glances at each other just to look quickly away again. Well, maybe it was time for her to talk to Ron, if Draco liked it or not.

Across from Rose stood Sirius with Remus. Both were busier with snogging than actually watching the firework and Rose shook her head but was at the same time happy that they were happy. It had taken them long enough to find together.

Long after midnight, everyone was nearly frozen to the spot and they said rather hurried their goodbyes for the rest of the night.

Rose stayed for a moment longer to let Remus embrace her. Sirius watched them and for some time until he tapped Rose on the shoulder. They looked at each other and then Sirius pulled her into his arms. “A happy New Year, Rosie,” he whispered gruffly and squeezed her once. Rose leant back and smiled. She even dared to kiss Sirius´ cheek. After Remus had embraced her again, she walked alone upstairs and was almost on the last flight to her floor as she heard hurried footsteps behind her.

“Rose!” She turned and faced Ron. “Have you a minute or are you too tired?”

She looked at him and stifled a yawn. Her plans for tonight were definitely not discussing feelings with Ron, though she´d planned already her talk with him first thing after breakfast.

“Actually I´m pretty wiped out. I just want to take a quick shower and then crawl into bed. Can we talk later?”

“Oh yeah…Uhm, then just give notice when you´re up.” Ron shuffled with his feet and turned to go down again.

“Is it urgent?” Somehow she felt a bit guilty as she saw his slumped shoulders.

“No…no one will die if we talk in a few hours. Night.”

“Sweet dreams,” Rose said and walked the rest of the stairs up to her floor. She hesitated a moment before she knocked on Draco´s door.

No answer. Maybe he was already asleep. Nonetheless she opened the door and peered inside the dark room. From the bath fell a small ray of light on the floor. Silently she walked over and pushed the door open. Draco stood with the back to her under the shower. He seemed unaware of her presence and Rose was torn between leaving and staying to talk to him.

In the end she waited.

“Goddamn it!” Draco yelled as he turned the light on only to find Rose on his bed, looking at him.

“Can I stay with you?” she asked and lifted his blanket for him.

“Of course you can. But could you next time say a word before you scare me out of my skin?” Draco slid down beside Rose and wrapped lightly one arm around her waist. He was almost asleep as Rose spoke again.

“Will you promise something?”

“It depends,” he mumbled.

“When…If Ron and Severus decide against us, will we be together?”

Draco´s eyes snapped open. He considered her a moment.

“You´re serious?”

“Forget it,” she huffed and turned to look at the wall. She knew that this question had been silly and was just owed to her insecurity everything concerning Severus.

“Stop pouting, Potter.” Draco grinned.

“Shut up, Malfoy,” she retorted.

Draco embraced her again. “Of course we´d be together,” he whispered into her ear. “But we won´t because in the end we get what we want.”

“How can you be so sure?” Rose rolled on her back, looking questioningly at Draco.

“Rose, honestly! Look at me, I´m gorgeous!”

“Oh god…” Rose slapped him on the chest, laughing. “You´re such a dickhead.”

“Ouch…You´re gorgeous too, of course. Severus will see that too. Let´s only get back to Hogwarts.”

“Do you think that?” Rose frowned.

“I do…But now I´m afraid I need a few minutes sleep,” Draco said with already closed eyes.

“Yeah,” Rose peered over him, squinting at the clock. “It´s almost five…Ron wants to talk to me and I don´t know when.”

“Then shut up and sleep,” Draco mumbled into her hair and tightened his arms around her waist.


	8. Chapter 8

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"Draco, do **you** know where Rose is?" Ron burst into the room and froze. Without doubt he had found her.

His best friend poked her sleep tousled head up from under the blanket. Draco, next to her, blinked as if he´d have problems to focus.

“Bloody hell and I knew you were close. I mean with all your sneaking away for snogging, but that..." He gestured at them. “Blimey, it´s the last thing I´ve expected,” Ron said and burst into a fit of giggles.

“Eh…” Draco gawped at Ron.

“But it´s…Damn, at least I can stop feeling guilty because of Lavender.”

 “What?” Draco and Rose exchanged a look.

“She almost begged…I just took the chance.” Ron shrugged, but with his face and ears coloured crimson it looked not as casual as he probably had intended.

“But Rose and I…”

“No,” Rose shook her head at Draco. They gazed at each other and Rose tried to communicate her thoughts. Not successful given that Draco looked a little confused.

Ron sobered quickly from his giggles as he watched them. He closed the door and approached the bed.

“You haven´t?” he asked in a pitiful, almost pleading voice.

“We have. Once. But not last night.” Rose tossed the blanket away, revealing that they wore at least underwear.

“Hmm, then we´re quit, aren´t we?…Unless you tell me you´re together now.” Ron´s gaze grew suspicious.

“What? No. We´re not.” Rose stammered and blushed.

Draco looked in utter disbelief from Rose to Ron. “You just say we´re quit and that´s it?”

Ron shrugged with one shoulder and sat down at the far end of the mattress. “What else should I do? Crying?”

“Well, I thought you´d shout. But you definitely don´t have to. I like your actual reaction more.” Rose said.

“And you´re not angry? Or jealous?” Draco asked cautiously.

“How could I? I´ve done the same. And it wouldn´t have happened if I hadn´t been such a twit, right? I just didn´t realise how much you mean to me, or I realised it but I couldn´t…I was not…”

“Shut up!” Draco silenced Ron´s stammering. Hope brightened his features. “So you admit it now?”

“Admit what?”

“That you´re not completely straight.”

Ron wrung his hands in his lap, not really meeting Draco´s gaze as he shrugged.

“Yes. I think I am more gay than straight.”

“And you and me…” Draco started cautiously but was almost immediately interrupted by Ron.

“No, Draco…I can´t. Jeez! Look I´m sorry…”

“Blimey, Ron! You are at least as complicated as these madmen Sirius and Remus!” Rose sighed exasperated.

“I´m not. It´s just my mom…”

“For Merlin´s sake! You´re such an arse!” Draco shouted, jumped up and banged the bathroom door close behind him. Rose shook her head.

“I have enough of this!” She stood up and dressed hurriedly then left the room. As she came back, she tossed her invisibility cloak at Ron. “Follow me!”

***

Downstairs in the kitchen, Narcissa and Molly were busy preparing the last dinner in Grimmauld Place for the whole lot, all the while chatting lightly.

Both women turned around and looked quizzically at Rose who´d flopped down in one chair and sighed dramatically.

"Rose dear, what's wrong that you're sighing so loud?" Molly asked, stirring in a pot with sauce.

Rose huffed. "Sirius and Remus...They make me go barmy. How can two adult men be so stupid for so long and then, suddenly, you can´t go one step without tripping over them, kissing everywhere like hormonal teenagers? They haven´t even seen the twins´ firework because they were too busy with their lip workout," she ranted.

Molly swiped her hands on her apron and sat down next to Rose.

“I think they´re sweet. Don´t begrudge them their happiness. It was a long way and a hard fight, especially for Remus.”

“Oh, I know and I don´t. When they´re happy it means less complaining letters from Sirius and hopefully a more cheerful Remus.” Rose grinned and watched a moment lost in thoughts how Narcissa spiced something that cooked in large pot. “Charlie and Oliver are sweet too…”

“Oh yes, they are. You can´t imagine how happy I am that Charlie has someone and then also someone like Oliver. He´s such a nice boy.”

"So you don´t mind that he´s gay?” Rose asked and heard Ron next to her inhale sharply at her bluntness.

"It doesn't matter to me. Why should it?" Molly looked over to the girl, shaking questioningly her head.

"I don´t know. I just thought you might be upset because…Maybe…"

"Rose, when you're a mother, you love your children no matter what. Even when they're sometimes ungrateful little, well…You love them." She smirked with twinkling eyes before she added, "Tell Ron I love him and I won't stop when he finally admits that he's head over heels in love with Draco." She stood up but got almost knocked back down as Ron shot out from under Rose's cloak and wrapped his mother in a rib crashing embrace.

“You little dunderhead,” she chided her youngest son affectionately and dared to ruffle his hair.

“I think you should have a long and proper talk with Draco," Narcissa piped up from the background. “He waits now for ages that you admit it.”

Ron blushed but entangled himself from his mother. Before he left the kitchen he stopped next to Rose and pecked her sheepishly on the cheek.

"You're the best friend one can have."

"I know." Rose grinned and shoved him away. "Go and make amends to Draco."

“And you love?” Molly asked after Ron was gone. “Will you speak out with your boyfriend?”

“I…what? No, Mrs Weasley, I have no boyfriend.” She couldn´t help but look over to Narcissa and meet her piercing blue eyes. Narcissa merely raised an eyebrow.

“Rose, how often must I tell you, it´s Molly. And for the boy who obviously broke your heart, he surely doesn´t know what he let go.” Mrs Weasley clicked her tongue and returned to the oven.

“That or he has not yet realised that he is worth her and can´t run away his whole life. But I´m sure he will,” added Narcissa Malfoy with a mysterious smile.

“Yeah…whatever,” Rose said and fled from the kitchen. That was more motherly attention than she could stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter to go and then Severus is back. He and Rose have a little talking to do, don´t you think?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to mrsmalfoy08 for correcting my mistakes :)  
> Any mistakes left are my own.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

Being back at Hogwarts was like scratching an itching scab. At first the irking sensation eased, but the longer one scratched the more it hurt until it finally started bleeding.

Just like Rose felt at the moment. She loved Hogwarts, it was still her home, but Severus´ absence was something she felt almost physically.

She tried strenuously to concentrate on Draco and Ron who, now that Ron had overcome his fears, were very nearly inseparable. If they didn´t snog like they aimed for a new world record, they held hands and all the time exchanged looks and smiles. Even gentle, good-natured Neville started rolling his eyes about the two lovebirds while Ginny mimicked vomiting whenever she was within sight. 

But no matter how hard she tried to not think of Severus, Rose couldn´t get rid of the feeling that he would sweep any moment past her from out of the shadows, a mean comment on his lips and taking house points from everyone in proximity, simply for existing. But of course that was ridiculous. And so did the distraction Rose´s friends provided lasted not long and evaporated completely as classes started again.  

Right on Monday morning Rose managed, unintended, to attack tiny Professor Flitwick with an altered Aguamenti charm. Instead of a simple splash of water, a stream of boiling hot water shot directly at the Professor and knocked him from his pile of books. His face blistered immediately. He yelped pitiful and needed assistance to leave for the infirmary. Rose hung her head ashamed as the rest of the lesson was cancelled.

“Don´t worry, Madam Pomfrey will heal him in a blink and everything will be fine,” Hermione tried to reassure Rose.

Rose only shrugged miserably and let her friends lead her to the library. They had still essays to write, because neither of them, not even Hermione, had spared one single glance or thought to their homework over the holidays.

Ron nagged and whined the whole time until Draco silenced him with a kiss. Though the silence didn´t last long as Lavender stormed through the library.

"That's your excuse for ditching me?" she yelled and slapped Ron with one of her books before she gestured with a disgusted expression at Draco. Immediately Rose´s temper flared and even before Ron or Draco could think of a reply she sneered, "Maybe that he's with a man now speaks volumes about your qualities in bed."

Draco grinned behind his hasty lifted hand, while Ron paled and glanced anxiously from Rose to Lavender. Both glared at each other, but Lavender seemed currently at a loss for words. Unfortunately, not for long.

"You silly bitch! Mind your own business!" she retorted.

“Oh **I** mind my own business maybe you should better follow your own advice instead of being such a nag,” Rose said decidedly calmer than Lavender.

“Such big words! You know what? Fuck you! Or better yet, go and fuck Snape, seems to be the only explanation for your good grades lately,” Lavender spat but didn't notice Professor McGonagall entering the library that exact moment.

"Miss Brown! 20 points from Gryffindor for such insulting and shameless behaviour and you'll appear at 8 for detention." McGonagall’s thin lips, thinned even further as she regarded Lavender with a stern look.

"But Professor!"

"Don't argue with me or I'll extend it to two evenings!"

Lavender kept indeed silence but turned hurriedly to leave, while grumbling something under her breath.

"And you better stop grinning or you'll join Miss Brown," Professor McGonagall groused and regarded the assembled students with furrowed brow before she went to placate Madam Pince.

“Could someone please explain why everyone thinks there is something between you and the greasy git?” Ron asked Rose who was again amazed how little Ron realised, but she only shrugged and buried her nose deep into her Herbology book.

There was really no need to think about Severus, she tried to persuade herself. It was far better to finish her essay, at least it would be wiser but nothing helped. Her thoughts kept returning to the damned man, no matter what.

Later, after lunch, Rose walked with her friends to Transfiguration. She tried to ignore Lavender´s nasty looks and focused instead on changing her appearance. But indifferent to how hard she tried to make her hair only a lighter brown, she somehow only produced little adorable pitch black bats that flew around her head. By the end of the double lesson Professor McGonagall was furious and Hermione and Draco shot Rose pitiful glances. Only Ron laughed and thought it was amazing.

And then there were the rumours. Everyone gossiped about Rose and Snape. The entire school wanted to know why she´d shouted at him before Christmas and what it was all about. A lot of students believed what Lavender said and it became common knowledge that Rose and Snape had a romantic affair.

On Tuesday in Defence, Rose sat miserably on her chair and watched the rest of her class practise nonverbal spells. For the first twenty minutes no one took offence of it, not even Lavender dared to comment, but then Remus stopped on his walk around the practising teams next to Rose and crouched beside her. His hand rested casually on her knee while he looked up to her with questioning raised eyebrows.

“Rose, come on. You have to work like everyone else.”

“I can´t concentrate and I don´t want to make a mess.”

Remus sighed. Of course he had heard of Professor Flitwick and his tragic visit in the infirmary. Minerva had groused too about Rose´s absentminded behaviour and had asked if he had an idea what was wrong with her. Not that he could have elaborated about the topic.

"Then practise with me. Come on.” Remus stood up and held his hand towards Rose. Reluctantly she took it and let him pull her up. He smiled reassuringly and pushed her lightly towards a free space.

As their teacher and Rose positioned themselves in front of each other, most of the students stopped their own practise and formed a circle around them to watch. 

Rose took a preparing breath but even before she could think of anything, her wand flew away. Remus grinned.

“Faster,” he said provocatively.

Rose gritted her teeth, picked her wand up and mumbled, “Stupefy”.

“Nonverbal!” Remus chided as her wand flew again away into the classroom before her spell could even hit him.

Grumbling lowly, Rose went to retrieve her wand once again and glared at Remus who relaxed his stance, nodding for Rose to collect herself. Remembering her Occlumency lessons, Rose inhaled in a long, deep breath and with exhaling pushed all unwanted thoughts as best as possible away. All her concentration focused on only her magic, the spell she wanted to work without saying out loud. She thought the disarming spell, visualised its effect and noticed satisfied the small jerk in Remus´ wand arm. Remus shifted subtly but nodded and waited for her second try. Rose locked her eyes with him. Her mind reeled around her resolution to disarm the man. All her will squeezed into the one single purpose. Rose thought as vehemently as possible “Expelliarmus” and this time her spell worked. Remus' wand flew away.

“Very good. Again.” Remus smiled and positioned himself again. Without warning he jumped into attacking. A blast of blueish light erupted from the tip of his wand and Rose panicked. She ducked and at the same moment yelled a protection spell.

Looking up she saw Remus smug grin. Rose huffed and attacked without even trying to focus on the spell, only driven by her determination to show Remus. She noticed that it went surprisingly well when she was a little angry. With every nonverbal used spell, her confidence grew and as she finally disarmed Remus again and sent him then flying against the opposite wall, she felt grimly satisfied. The class cheered while Rose hurried over to Remus and helped him up. Despite his harsh landing, he grinned and hugged her briefly. 

“Wonderful! That is how it can look like in a duel.”

Suddenly her classmates were around Rose and asked question over question what her secret was.  

Helplessly she looked over to Remus who only shrugged. So for the rest of the lesson, Rose took over and tried to explain how “emptying your mind” worked and how it helped to concentrate on the given task and that it, for her at least, was easier when she was a little angry.

“Now I can retire with a clear conscience,” Remus said after the bell rang.

“No! Never! You can´t just leave again after only one year,” Rose exclaimed.

“Ok, then I´ll stay the next year too and you can take over after your graduation.”

“Keep on dreaming!” She grinned and pecked him on the cheek.

“See, a little duel lifts the mood, doesn't it?” Remus grinned and hugged Rose, returning the kiss.

“Thanks. Just what I needed…and now I think I´ve got the knack how to work nonverbal, too,” Rose said and proofed it by conjuring the little bats again, this time deliberately. She watched them chasing each other through the room.

“Bats?” Remus quirked an eyebrow but smiled knowingly before he added, “He´s back on Thursday.”

Rose breathed trembling in.

“I´m so frightened to see him again. We haven´t spoken since…”

“Don´t let it get to you. Try to calm down and just take things as they come.”

“It´s not as simply as you say it. Not with all the rumours around. Everyone only waits for Severus to come back and see what happens between us.”

“And nothing will happen. Severus is capable of hiding everything behind his role of the forever ill-tempered bastard. It would never occur to someone not involved that he is not only your teacher. He treats you like crap in public if it helps.”

“That might be true, usually. But his behaviour was different already.” Rose felt not as confident as Remus.

“He was nicer, yes and then suddenly you were back at each other´s throats. For most of the students and teachers it was not worth noticing.”

“Until Lavender started to shout that we…”

“Rose, stop it. Rumours stay rumours as long as there is no proof,” Remus interrupted her rather harsh and gave her a pointed look.

“You´re right.” Rose nodded and sighed before she smiled. “Thank you.”

“You´re welcome. Now go and try not to scald innocent teachers on your way,” Remus smirked and ushered her out of the room.

***

“Oh wow…Those are a lot of books,” Rose said astonished as the friends entered todays setting of the Room of Requirement for their study session. Hermione already launched herself into the closest shelf and browsed through various books, the grin on her face becoming wider, her eyes glazing over. Rose joined her and casually flipped through one or another book before she finally stopped at an old and battered looking potions book. It was the school book they currently used but this one was scribbled over and over with a tiny, spidery handwriting that, Rose thought, looked quite familiar. On every page were notes. Potions recipes were corrected or something was added. Intrigued, she took the book over to the fireplace. On the inside of the cover stood: Property of the Half-blood Prince. Furrowing her brow, Rose looked a moment into the flames. She´d never heard of someone who called himself a half blood prince, though maybe it was just a silly nickname. She turned to the first page and started reading.

It was amazing how many extra notes she found in this book. There were even spells she had never heard of before and if the changings on the recipes were correct…

“Hey, Draco…” Rose mumbled. As no answer came, she unlocked her gaze from the pages. “Draco!”

“Hmmm?” Draco hummed from his position on the sofa. Ron lay half above him and both hadn´t even glanced in the direction of books.

“Come over.” Rose heard his sigh but a moment later he looked from behind her chair over her shoulder. “Look, I´ve found this and…we don´t have Potions tomorrow, would you brew something with me?”

“Really?” Draco asked not especially convinced.

“Please. I want to test something.”

Draco looked still hesitantly and Rose had to argue with him hence and forth until he agreed to help her. Hermione commentated this sourly from the background. No one should try some scribbled notes from an unknown source. But Rose only laughed and Draco shrugged.

So the next morning the two of them met again in the Room of Requirement which was this time a nice potions lab.

“Severus would love this,” Draco stated and helped Rose to set up the cauldron.

“Here, I want make this!” She showed him a simple Cheer-me-up-Potion. “It won´t take long and there are some interesting changes.” She pointed on the page.

“Interesting, indeed. Either the guy is a genius…or mad.”

“I don’t know why, but I´d settle with genius.” Rose grinned.

Draco huffed and chuckled. With casually crossed arms he leant against the workbench and watched Rose preparing the ingredients.

“Wait…Don´t cut it like this.” He moved behind her and took her hands in his. “Try it this way.” He guided her hands and the knife in it. Rose leant slightly back against Draco.

“Are you happy with Ron?” Rose asked lowly as they stirred the potion together with evenly swirling movements.

“Yes, I´m happy,” Draco answered.

Rose turned in his arms and peered up. She smiled. “Good.”

Draco returned her gaze and finally pressed a kiss onto her hair. “Finished.”

Rose looked into the cauldron and surveyed the sunshine yellow potion.

“Seems ok, no?”

“It´s perfect if you ask me. Let´s try it.”

The rest of Wednesday was a blur of laughter and all over happy mood. Maybe they were a bit annoying as even Professor Sprout subtracted points from them, but they couldn´t care less. 

But then, unstoppable, approached Thursday. The effect of the potion had long ceased and Rose was barely able to translate one single Rune in her first class. Hermione and Draco did their best to calm her but with up to no success.

During lunch word spread that Snape had been seen as he'd walked down to the dungeons. With that the last bit of Rose´s self-control slipped and the ensuing Transfiguration class was a disaster.

As Rose tried to disguise herself at least a little, she set accidentally her desk and Professor McGonagall, who stood tragically not far away, on fire. 

"Miss Potter!" Professor McGonagall shrieked and extinguished the flames with a quick swoosh of her wand. "What are you doing?" she demanded to know, glaring from the scorch marks on her robes over to Rose.

Rose swallowed uneasy and shrunk back into her chair. Under McGonagall's still angry and disappointed gaze, she only shrugged and was more than relieved as the lesson was over.

“Really Rose, setting Professor McGonagall on fire? What´s up with you this week?” Ron asked unsuspectingly, shaking his head in mild puzzlement.

“Don´t ask,” Rose groaned and hurried away before he could ask more questions she was not ready to answer.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and Gentlemen,  
> please welcome with me: Severus Snape!
> 
> Yeah, he´s back! :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

It had taken only fifteen minutes after his arrival until a house-elf materialised in Severus´ quarters, bringing him a letter. Exhausted, Severus had thanked the creature and stood now reading in front of his fireplace. He swayed lightly the more often he read the few lines, fear and anger creeping up in him like spiders. Tiny legs scurried over his insides, freezing them in horror only to melt them again with the fire of his anger.

_Severus,_

_I´m so glad you made it back to the castle. Now you can watch over your lovely Rose again. Unthinkable if something happened to her, is it? Such a beauty. But how quick this beauty could wither._

_You´ll better keep an eye on her._

_I´ll see you..._

_Yours deeply,_

_Bellatrix_

Severus breathed shakily in, his hand clamped down on the letter, crumpling it. He was more than tempted to burn it, but he´d have to show it to Dumbledore, so instead of throwing it into the flames he pocketed the letter and hurried over to his desk. Although hurrying was not especially fast these days. Actually today was the first day he´d left the bed at all, so his condition was nothing one would call fit, besides his wounds still ached. They were completely closed now but the pain lingered and bit through his body.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Severus noticed Draco creeping closer. One eyebrow lifted, Draco regarded him with a worried gaze.

“I´m fine, Draco. Only still shaken. Give me a few days and my own potions and I´m as good as new.” The letter rustled quietly in Severus´ robes.

“If you say so,” the young man replied and stopped next to his godfather.

“Draco, would you give this to Rose?” Severus folded a small piece of parchment and gave it to Draco.

They stood awkward in front of each other, the silence expanding.

“Oh bugger it,” Draco muttered and pulled Severus into a tight embrace. “I´m so glad you´re alive.”

Severus tensed at first but then relaxed and patted his godson´s back, releasing him after a squeeze.

Severus gave Draco a soft smile.

“Come tomorrow. We could have tea and talk. I guess it´s overdue we do something like that.”

Draco composed himself and nodded with his usual haughty air.

“I´ll be there.”

***

During dinner, Rose picked once again only on her food as Draco appeared. He sat down next to her and snitched a piece of her cheese sandwich before he gave her a folded sheet.

Rose looked inside. It only read: _8pm as usual._

“Well?” Draco asked.

“He wants to see me.” Rose pushed her plate away and stood up. “It´s almost 8 and I need to fetch my things.”

“I´ll wait for you in the entrance hall. We can go together.”

“Yeah ok,” she said casually and left.

15 Minutes later, Rose walked next to Draco down to Snape´s office.

“Hey, wait a moment,” Draco stopped her shortly before they reached their destination. “Don´t freak out when you see him. He looks still a bit wrecked.”

Rose shook desperately her head.

“I can´t go in there…”

“Yes you can and you will. You need to talk.” Draco embraced her.

Rose thought how weird it was how normal that felt. But it didn´t cease to calm her and she was more than glad that Draco had accompanied her.

Softly he pushed her away and brushed a kiss on her lips. “Go.” He smiled and then turned away.

Rose braced herself and knocked, but as nothing happened, she opened the door slowly and peeked inside. The office was empty and dark, except two candles on each side of the room, but the door to the study was ajar. As she walked in Snape´s private rooms she found him in his favourite armchair. His eyes were closed and his head rested against the back of the chair.

Draco was right he looked still awful. His skin was not this transparent anymore but had a greyish tone to it. He'd also lost weight and was even thinner than usual. All in all he looked haggard and ill. Rose was unsure what to do. She thought she knew him well enough to know he would be probably angry if she crept away again without acknowledging her presence. But then again, sleep was most likely the best he could get to recover. And didn´t they say never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you?

Rose worried her bottom lip, trying to choose between plague and cholera. Finally she approached Severus, tip toing, even though she planned to wake him anyway.

“Snape?” she asked shyly.

Nothing happened.

"Severus?" she asked this time a bit louder, but still gained no reaction.

Sighing, she touched his shoulder, shaking it softly.

"Severus!"

Caught off guard, he jumped with a start, his wand ready in hand, eyes wide and alarmed.

Rose took several steps backwards and held her hands up.

"It's just me."

Severus looked at her, his breath still quicker than normal as he rubbed over his face. It felt like an eternity since he´d seen her last. Severus´ heart stuttered while he took in every bit of Rose. Bellatrix was so right. Rose was beautiful and lovely, but she had also thorns to keep incautious people away. But now she regarded him with a long and worried gaze and Severus was more than ready to get pricked.

There was only one brief moment of hesitation before he took a step forward, enveloped her into his arms and pulled her against him.

“I thought I´d never see you again,” he whispered into Rose´s hair and pressed her even closer.

Rose was thrown completely off balance. She´d expected a lot of their reunion but not that Severus would be emotional. But here she was, wrapped into his arms and she couldn´t deny that she loved it. She slung her arms around his much too thin waist and held on. She felt his hectic heartbeat at her cheek and wondered how strained his nerves were right now.

After a much too short moment, Severus pushed Rose softly back. His hands came up to cup her face.

The look in his eyes made Rose´s heart ache. She´d never seen them this soft, with so much love and still so much fear and hurt. She couldn´t stand this look. She reached up to touch his face in return. Severus closed his eyes as her fingers stroked delicately over his cheekbones and he complied as Rose brought one hand to his neck and pulled him down.

Severus´ arms slid once again around Rose, bringing her whole body in contact with his. Their lips brushed in the lightest of a touch against each other. Rose brought them still closer, their teeth clinking as their tongues met and their mouths opened to each other.

Severus knew he was lost. This woman was his downfall. He felt like a moth drawn to the light. But his light was in danger and he had to prevent it from getting extinguished.

With as much determination as he could muster, Severus broke the kiss. He´d have to make a decision.

 “I think we should talk.”

Rose´s alarm bells started shrieking at his tone and she wished he would hold her close again, but Severus sat back down in his armchair, groaning lowly. Rose followed suit and waited.

“Rose, what happened before Christmas…”

“I´m sorry,” she interrupted him. “I never should´ve called you a coward.”

“That´s not what I meant.”

“Oh…” Rose sagged a little bit into her chair.

“I won´t lie to you. Everything I´ve said was meant exactly like that.” Severus saw Rose´s lip tremble and he hated to do that to her, but he couldn´t help it. “My feelings haven´t changed…”

At this moment Rose knew there would be a “but” and whatever would follow after it would be nothing she´d like. If it would change anything Rose would run away, or clasp her hands over her ears or even roll into a ball on the floor and pretend to be not there, but she knew, as much as she knew there would be a “but”, that she couldn´t prevent hearing it.

“…but we can´t be together.”

Rose regarded Severus with a calculating gaze. Deep down she´d known he would say that, but it hurt, regardless.

“You do it again. For heaven´s sake, Severus! What holds you back?” She´d almost shouted her question.

“Bellatrix.”

Rose opened her mouth but closed it again without saying anything. She felt betrayed and even more heartbroken than before the holidays. Why was always everything about Bellatrix?

She moved to lift her school bag, half rising to leave.

“Wait," Severus pleaded. "Bellatrix is still free and now that I can´t spy for our side anymore...I won´t know what she´s planning. That means that you´re still in danger, in even more danger now because I can´t prevent it beforehand. I could never forgive myself if you…I couldn´t live with your loss. All because I wasn´t cautious enough.”

Rose paused. She set her bag back to the floor, perching on the edge of her chair.

“And what does that mean for us? That we´ll never be together as long as Bellatrix isn´t dead or in Azkaban?” Rose shook her head. “Severus, I´m patient, I really am. I never planned to let you know how I feel for you, anyway. But you know and I know that you return my feelings. I can´t accept that you won´t give it a try because of some madwoman.”

Severus had known she would argue. Rose Potter argued always. But this time, he couldn´t even blame her. His fist closed around the letter he had received earlier. Bellatrix was close, he knew she was. Rose was in danger. Though, she was in danger, regardless if he´d give in or not. Bellatrix knew already that they loved each other. And still, Severus couldn´t get rid of the feeling that it was more dangerous for Rose when they were a couple.

“Could you give me some time to think about it all? I´m sure we´ll find a solution.” Severus managed a puny smile, not the least bit comforting or reassuring, but the best he had. He´d only have to find a way to stop Bellatrix and after that he and Rose could be together.

“How much time? It´s not that I don´t want to give you all the time you need, but…How long will I have to wait for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ok,” Rose whispered and closed her eyes briefly. “But what are we in the meantime? What does it mean for us?”

“I don´t want to push you away, but I have to ask you for some room. I want to be with you but at the moment not in a relationship. Can we not try to return to the time after the summer holidays? Or to something comparable?” Even against his will, Severus heard the plea in his voice. It was as if he´d skid on his knees over to Rose, begging for her sympathy, only with his words, though he was not too far away from the real thing. If it took that to convince Rose, he would do so and even kiss her feet, indifferent to how humiliating it would be. The thought that he had allowed Rose to have so much power over him sickened him beyond words.

“Blimey, why the hell are you so fucking complicated?” Rose didn´t know if she should laugh or cry, so she settled with a breathy chuckle.

Severus waited, but Rose said nothing more. So he stood up and pulled her up with him.

“Will you wait for me?” he whispered and gazed down. He had no idea what he would do should she say no. Most likely he'd went to hunt down Bellatrix, against better knowledge and advice.

“To be honest, I don't know. I want to, but..." Rose saw the subtle change in Severus' composure, how he steeled himself, most likely in expectation of her refusal. She drifted closer, rested her hand, with splayed fingers, on his chest. She felt his heartbeat under her hand, frantically beating like a scared animal on the run. “Yes. I'll wait. But don’t even dare to exclude me again!” Rose glared up at him but couldn´t hold on to it as Severus shifted closer, Rose's hand still on his chest.

“You´re amazing, you know that?” he whispered as his forehead touched hers. “I promise to sort everything out as soon as I can. I want to be with you, Rose. Gods, I will never again let go of you.” His breath brushed over her lips before he sealed her mouth with his. Rose couldn't contain the small sigh that slipped from her lips which Severus kissed away alongside her breath as he deepened the kiss. Rose melted into his embrace. Severus' hand which had rested on the small of her back started roaming, stroking her back softly, winding a way under her robes that had come up without Rose noticing. But then Severus fingers grazed unconcealed skin as he brushed the last fold of clothes out of the way and Rose withdrew, jerked out of his arms and took a step back, though a small one. A brief, hurt expression flickered in Severus' eyes before he nodded his understanding, even before Rose had said anything.

“I can't give you everything as long as we´re not together.” Rose said. Actually she doubted that even kissing was smart. But Severus seemed to understand her rejection and opened his arms, inviting her back. Rose followed it and closed her eyes as she leant her forehead against his chest. It was definitely not that she didn't want him to touch her, but she was no plaything. If he wanted more, he had to make the decision to change the status of their togetherness.

Severus, seemingly unwittingly, stroked small circles on her back. Rose smiled, she loved that he was so tender. No one would guess that when only seeing him in the corridors or the classes.

Classes were actually a good point.

“What about classes?”

“I beg your pardon?” Severus asked somewhat startled and held her on arm’s length away.

“Classes. You can´t be nice to me. There are so many rumours. But I don´t want you to be mean again either.”

“Rumours?” Severus arched an eyebrow.

“Of course. What do you think? The whole school knows about our argument before the holidays. And there were rumours before, thanks to Lavender.”

“Oh yes, that. As you started kissing Draco,” he remarked sourly.

“That is not the point.” Rose felt like stomping her foot on the floor. Didn´t he want to see the problem or was he indifferent?

“And what is the point?”

“The others believe Lavender. The school buzzes with rumours and whispers. What do you think how it would look like if you behave differently? It´d be like a confirmation for everyone.”

Severus stepped away and rubbed tiredly over his face. She was right, of course she was.

“I am who I always am. That means I´m sarcastic, caustic and ill-tempered. All but a good and nice man.”

“So what?” Rose frowned.

“I won´t favour you and you will have to endure at least a minimum of mocking and nasty comments. I highly doubt anyone will notice how I really feel for you if we keep quiet. But you need to act along. I can´t do it all alone and it won´t do when you sit all lesson long and drool over me.”

“I don´t drool,” Rose muttered indignantly. “And by the way, if you want to disperse rumours I´m not declined to stage an argument.”

“I don´t think we´ll have to stage that.” Severus chuckled lowly but stopped as Rose curled her lips, definitely thinking about something.

“So actually everything will be like before Halloween?”

“If we can make it work.”

“And when you figured out whatever it is you have to figure out we can start a new chapter?” Rose peered over at him, her brow knitting lightly.

Severus nodded silently, a brief smile curled his lips before he cleared his throat.

"Well, I originally planned to brew today, some healing potion for my own use. It's pretty advanced, but if you care to watch you can stay," he said, changing the topic. He had to occupy both his hands and his mind to keep from thinking about kissing Rose again and he needed the potion, anyway.

"Yeah, ok," Rose agreed with a shrug.

"Fine. While I´m working you can tell me about your holidays." Severus waved his wand and the papers on his desk piled neatly up and flew into a nearby empty board in his shelf. Then he folded up a plate on the side of his desk, making room for the cauldron. He rummaged a while through the cupboard behind his desk where all his potions equipment stood and finally had prepared all essentials for brewing. Rose came slowly closer. She leant against the desk without standing in the way and watched Severus with a small smile.

“My holidays were actually not very interesting. Except for my more or less heavy crisis as I heard about you.” She thought briefly, fleetingly, about to confess her time with Draco, but then again, they were not together and what she had done shouldn't concern him.

Severus gazed up and reached over to squeeze her hand, briefly. They stood for a moment in silence while Severus cut an ordinary looking root whose juice and pulp, though, were blood red and smelled in an unpleasant, stinging way like vinegar.

“What about your dogfathers? Are they finally coupling?” Severus asked conversationally and dumped the root pieces into the cauldron.

“You´re mean!” Rose coughed as a cloud of vinegar odour wafted over to her, causing her eyes to water.

Severus smirked and winked. “I thought that was common knowledge.”

Rose giggled softly.

“No, honestly. Are they together now? I´m not sure I can stand only one single hour longer with Lupin in the staff room while he's staring devastated into the fire and thinks so obviously about Black that I don´t even need Legilimency to guess his thoughts.”

Rose laughed now. “Yes they are and so are Draco and Ron.”

Severus halted a moment to stare at her before he made some small noise of acknowledgement and concentrated then on his preparations again.

Rose watched in astonishment as he flattened, cut, grinded, stewed and stirred the ingredients. It was downright aesthetic to see him working. His long elegant fingers seemed never to stop. It was all one fluent movement that looked more like a dance of his hands than brewing. She wished she were just half as talented as he was but maybe with the extra help of the Half-blood Prince, who knew?

"Could you look for some starweed in the cupboard?" Severus interrupted her thoughts and nodded to the cupboard behind her.

She walked over and as she took out a jar with starweed, some cards fell to the ground. Hurriedly she picked them up. She didn't want to spy but one card was open and she read it. It was a birthday card. Dated on today 24 years ago and it was from her mother. It was a nice card, obviously hand crafted, with little potion vials and ingredients on it. She put the cards back and stood beside Severus. She gave him the starweed and looked up at him. After a moment he turned. "What? You're staring."

"It's your birthday...Today I mean."

He looked suddenly tired and strained again.

"It doesn't matter."

“It matters to me.”

“Hm,” he grumbled and peered into the cauldron.

"How long does this potion take till it's finished?"

"Why?"

"How long?"

They stared at each other and to Rose's surprise he gave in.

"About half an hour, maybe a bit longer, before it needs to simmer for an hour."

"Great!" She walked out of the room and ignored Severus´ frustrated shout of, "Potter, what you think you're doing?"


	11. Chapter 11

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Rose headed right to the kitchen, tickled the pear and entered. It was by far less busy than during days but still the house-elves buzzed around preparing meals and apparated in and out, occupied with other tasks in the castle.

"Rose Potter! Dobby is happy to see you. What can Dobby do for you, Miss?"

Rose smiled radiantly at the elf and bent down, almost conspiratorially.

"What do you know about Professor Snape´s favourite foods Dobby?"

"Professor Snape, Miss?"

"Yes, it's his birthday and I want to give him a little present."

"Oh!" Dobby´s eyes lit up. "He loves a lot of things. But when it's his birthday...What is Miss thinking about cake?" Dobby was so excited that he bounced up and down all the time.

"Yes, that would be wonderful!" Rose smiled. One could always rely on Dobby, even if he was a bit strange even for house-elf norm.

Dobby scurried away. Rose watched him buzzle around, soon other house-elves joined him to help and Rose found herself on a chair in front of the fire with tea, biscuits and sandwiches. After some, not so long, time, Dobby came back to her and held proud a silver tray loaded with small pies.

"Professor Snape loves them. Is little cakes with strawberry cream and glazed hazelnuts and pistachio flakes. And this is ginger-pumpkin bites. He orders them as little treats when he has a lot of work to do."

"Oh Dobby you are the best! And everyone who helped!" She smiled and all around house-elves bowed.

"Thank you Miss. Rose Potter is too kind." Dobby smiled over his whole face. "Dobby can bring Rose Potter to Professor Snape. Is faster..." With that, he took hold of her elbow and apparated them directly into Snape´s study. Rose thanked the elf again and put the tray on the coffee table.

"What is that?" Severus asked, peering over his cauldron.

"That is your birthday present from me." Rose said and grinned as she saw his expression melt into utter disbelief. "How far is your potion?"

"Almost finished," he said slowly, not stopping to gaze at her.

"Great. Then I´ll go and make tea and you get ready here."

Rose strode past him into his kitchenette.

"Make the berry blend," Snape called after her.

***

“Hmmm, they´re delicious,” Rose said as she tasted one of the little cakes.

“They are…But I must say your cupcakes back in summer were great too.”

“Funny, isn´t it? When you think back to this day.”

“Quite. A lot happened since then.”

“Yes…”

They fell silent and just ate the cake until Rose asked, “Do you dance?”

“Why?”

“I just thought about it. You have a lot of music and I love dancing.”

“Usually I don´t dance…” He had learned to dance and every now and then he had to, but it was nothing he was especially fond of. But now, Rose smiled at him and certainly it wouldn´t hurt. So he stood up and held his hand towards her.

“You want to pick the music?” Severus asked as she took his hand and her smile became radiant.

“Yes.” She decided for the Elvis record she'd seen and turned back to Severus.

After the first song Rose said, “In fourth year…All students had to attend dancing classes for the Yule Ball.”

“Yes.”

“I never questioned it before, but it was task of the respective Head of the House, no?”

“Yes.” An amused undertone sounded in his voice.

“So McGonagall taught us, apparently. Sprout the Hufflepuffs. Flitwick danced with Ravenclaw, what is really something I'd have liked to see and you…You swirled your snakes over the dance floor?”

“Not exactly.”

“What not exactly?”

“I usually don´t dance with students. I borrowed a female colleague, showed my students the steps and then just walked around and tried my best to correct their mistakes.”

Rose laughed. “You borrowed a person?”

Severus shrugged but laughed too.

“Which one?”

“Charity Burbage.”

“The Muggle studies teacher?”

“She was the first I met.” He shrugged again. Afterwards he'd thought it would've been better to ask Aurora, also for the sake of another Slytherin, but Charity's dancing skills had been sufficient. And it really hadn't mattered which colleague helped back then. “Had I known then how good you dance I´d asked you,” he mocked Rose lightly.

Rose stuck her tongue out but then returned to lean against his chest and snuggled as close as possible.

The fourth song was “Always on my mind” and Severus made a small noise that made Rose look up. His face was as open as rarely before and she noticed his hesitancy.

“You don´t just string me along and push me away in the end, do you?” she asked shyly and stopped to dance.

“I don´t. I promise!”

Rose smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. Severus' arms around her tightened in response.

Being so close to the girl made it easy to forget that he had asked her for time to quieten his fears. All rational consideration slipped away and her lips came closer into focus. He couldn't resist them or Rose in general, to begin with.

Rose on her part seemed not to have any objections and closed her eyes even before Severus had closed the little distance between them completely.

***

Severus kicked his shoes off. It was after one in the morning and Rose was just gone for a few minutes, but not without a last parting kiss, Severus had not felt like holding back. If he was honest, this day had turned out far better than he could have hoped for. Rose had even made him celebrate his birthday. Something that hadn´t happened in a long time and which he'd enjoyed far more than he was comfortable admitting. Maybe this had been even one of his nicest birthdays since…since he'd been friends with Lily.

After he´d taken his potion he felt a lot better, but however, it was a long day and he should go to bed sooner rather than later as he had not yet recovered fully.

He was just about to get up as a house-elf popped into his study.

“Professor Snape, sir! Professor Dumbledore requires your presence in his office.”

Severus  looked once again at the clock. Damn, what could the old maniac want in the middle of the night?

“Yes, of course,” he muttered and slipped into his shoes again.

The elf vanished and Snape made his way up to the Headmaster’s office.

***

“Severus, good, good. Please take a seat. How are you feeling? You look much better than yesterday afternoon.” Dumbledore smiled.

Snape glanced to Minerva McGonagall, who was in her nightdress and wore a tartan dressing gown above it, and sat down beside her.

“I feel better, but I assume that is not the reason why I am here.”

“No, not at all.”

“So, Albus, why are we here then?” Minerva asked a bit short tempered considering the late hour.

“Ah, very well.” Dumbledore looked wide awake and like he was planning a pyjama party, with his light blue nightdress, the matching bedcap and a silvery dressing gown with golden stars on it completed by a happy twinkling in his eyes. “I was already in bed and read in a most amusing book, a muggle kid’s book to be precisely…”

“Please, Albus!” Minerva looked like imminently suffering a heart attack.

“Well, however, I heard someone calling me. I stood up and found it was the Sorting Hat. He told me he had important news and he had to tell me at once.” Dumbledore made a dramatic break, smiling from Minerva to Severus.

McGonagall buried her face in her hands, her elbows on Dumbledore´s desk and shook her head.

“Now, now Minerva….” Dumbledore chuckled.

Snape leant back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. That could take a while.

But Dumbledore obviously took pity with his colleagues. He cleared his throat and went on with more seriousness, “The Hat informed me that he considered putting one student from his current house into another.”

“It did what?” Professors Snape and McGonagall asked simultaneously.

“Well, as I said. He re-sorted a student, namely Mister Malfoy. He will be transferred to Gryffindor.” Dumbledore smiled again and his eyes twinkled with amusement.

McGonagall arched an eyebrow and dropped back into her chair. Meanwhile Snape jumped up, crossed his arms now behind his back and faced the fireplace.

Silence fell over the room until:

“That is absolutely impossible!” Severus hissed and turned with an angry glittering in his eyes.

“But Severus, no. It is most unlikely but not impossible!”

“Did this happen ever before?” McGonagall asked quietly.

“As far as I´m informed, no. But there is always a first time for everything.”

"But why?" McGonagall shook her head on confusion.

Instead of an answer, Dumbledore shrugged noncommittal and smiled.

“And what now? Are you planning to rehouse all Slytherins now? Why, wouldn't that be convenient.” Severus´ seethed with anger.

“Ah Severus, please. Who speaks of that? It´s just one student. No one will take your house from you. But still, we will do as the Hat said. I'm sure it has its reasons. Please go and inform Mister Malfoy and you Minerva please fetch his friends. As I noticed he spends a lot of time with Mister Weasley, Miss Granger and Miss Potter, recently,” Dumbledore said utterly unperturbed.

“But Albus! In the middle of the night?” McGonagall squinted at the clock.

“Yes…Yes, I think this matter bears no delay. Otherwise the Hat had waited until breakfast.” Dumbledore bit with open joy in a cookie, which he´d taken from a plate that definitely was not there a moment before.

Snape and McGonagall accepted lowly grumbling their fate and left to fetch their students.

***

“Professor McGonagall!" Rose yelped in shock. She´d just finished telling Hermione about her evening and how it would go on between her and Severus.

"Miss Potter, Miss Granger, Professor Dumbledore wishes to see you."

"Now?" Hermione asked with pounding heart.

"Now!" Their Head of House turned. Rose and Hermione followed as fast as possible and met downstairs with a ruffled-looking Ron. After glancing at each other they just shrugged and hurried to catch up with Professor McGonagall.

In the Headmaster´s office they met Draco and Severus.

Rose glanced at the latter, but his former good mood had changed drastically and he glanced around with a disdaining frown.

Dumbledore stood behind his desk and opened his arms in greeting.

“My dear ones.”

“Professor we did nothing wrong!” Somehow Rose had the urge to say that, just in case. Behind her, Severus snorted but kept silent otherwise.

“I know, Rose. You are not here because you have done something wrong. Not this time…” he added with a chuckle. “But let me explain. Please. Join me at the fire and take a cup of cacao and a cookie.” With an inviting gesture Dumbledore pointed to 7 cosy looking armchairs. On a small table waited a tray with cacao and different sorts of cookies.

Rose, Ron and Hermione took a chair. By chance Rose sat opposite Severus who still looked ill-tempered and raised an eyebrow as he eyed the sweets on the coffee table. Rose tried to hide her grin, but he still had seen it and his brow wandered even further up his forehead.

“Please, Mister Malfoy, join us!” Dumbledore called. Tentatively Draco did as asked but not without a warning look from Severus.

It was quite a funny circle as they all sat there in the middle of the night in their sleepwear. Only Severus was fully clothed and glared with crossed arms at everyone.

“I´m sure you wonder what you are doing here at this unholy hour.” Dumbledore smiled. “To make it short: The Sorting  Hat decided to take you, Mister Malfoy, out of Slytherin and put you instead into Gryffindor.”

Unexceptionally all attendants looked at Dumbledore. Then Ron, Rose and Hermione shared a look and Rose jumped up. She pulled a shell shocked Draco to his feet and pressed a blunt kiss on his lips before she hugged him and laughed. In the background she heard Severus' exasperated huff.

“Haaaaa! And I told you to be careful that spending too much time with us will do you no good!”

Draco returned the hug and held Rose close before he chuckled, “So I finally fell in disgrace because of conspiracy with the enemy.” He dipped down and kissed Rose, smiling all the while.

“Hey!” Ron said suddenly from the background. Draco and Rose still grinned but blushed both as they let go of each other. Draco turned and found himself in a bear hug from Ron, topped with a passionate kiss that seemed rather inappropriate for the office of their Headmaster. But no one said a word.

Rose scurried a bit away and found herself standing next to Severus who still had his arms crossed and looked sourly.

Rose looked down and smiled but it faded a bit as Severus pressed his lips together and raised an eyebrow. He was obviously not amused about her joy and even less how she had shown it. But of course they could not discuss this now so Rose only shrugged and watched Ron and Draco entangle from each other.

Dumbledore leant relaxed back into his chair with a smug smile on his face. McGonagall shook her head, but a small smile tugged on the corners of her mouth, too.

“Come on Severus, cheer up, boy. Look how happy these young people are,” Dumbledore tried to coax the man out of his glare. If possible, Severus looked even sourer.

“Albus, if this is all, I´d appreciate to be dismissed for now,” he said and rose.

“Of course. Rest! Get completely well again! And for you,” the Headmaster faced the students, “back into your beds. You Mister Malfoy, go with Mister Weasley. Your new bed awaits you. Your belongings will be in Gryffindor tower by now. Good night, to all of you.”

Rose let everyone pass before she left the office right after Severus. But she didn´t start to go down and touched lightly his arm. He turned stiffly and gazed at her, discontented.

“What?” he whispered with a cautious look ahead to Minerva.

“Don´t be angry because I kissed Draco.”

“I´m not,” he answered curtly and turned to leave.

“Yes, I see that.”

Severus sighed and stepped closer.

“Fine, I´m jealous,” he said and glanced at Rose, challenging.

“You don´t have to,” Rose assured him and took his hand to support her words. Severus relaxed visibly and a small smile tugged on the corner of his lips. He squeezed her hand briefly and leant a little closer, so their bodies touched sideways.

“Let´s go, before Minerva comes back up.”

Rose stepped on the first stair and let go of Severus´ hand, though only reluctantly.

Professor McGonagall waited right behind the Gargoyle, looking up the staircase. Her lips were pressed tight and a frown creased her brow that deepened as she noticed how close her colleague and her student stood on the same step, their fingers brushing against each other. But she said nothing and just brought the students back to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Here you go. Back to your beds. No further chattering.”

They climbed through the hole and went straight up to their dorms. Too excited to sleep but also too tired to stay awake.


	12. Chapter 12

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The news spread as fast as ever through the castle. By lunch every single student, teacher, ghost and house-elf knew that Draco Malfoy was a Gryffindor now. Surprise, surprise! But against all odds, no one really said something against or about it. Actually it was simply accepted, maybe because it was “The Golden Trio” Draco was friends with or because everyone was already used to seeing him eat most of his meals at the Gryffindor table anyway. And so it appeared to everyone, including Draco himself, that it had never been any different.

Draco liked Gryffindor life a lot. There was always something going on in the common room, it was loud and lively and so completely different to what he was used to, but he loved it, without objection. And he loved being close to his friends. His new friends he should say. Contact with Blaise and Pansy was less frequent since he´d started to get along with Rose and the others. Most of the time when he was in Slytherin common room he sat alone. The other Slytherins had eyed him suspiciously which led in the end to Draco being in the dungeons as little as possible. He doubted that his friendship with Blaise and Pansy would get better now that he´d switched into another house. Funny, how a Malfoy had become an outsider in Slytherin territory.

“Hey Rose, what do you think, can you convince Snape to let you go with us to Hogsmeade next weekend?” Ron asked from his favourite spot in front of the fireplace. Draco sat on the floor with his back against the armchair and looked over too.

Rose shrugged.

“I don´t think so, but I can ask.” She peeled herself out of her armchair and stretched. “Well, I need to go anyway…See you later.” She waved briefly goodbye and disappeared through the portrait hole.

As Rose entered Severus´ private study about ten minutes later, he was already occupied with brewing some potion. He looked highly concentrated with his hair brushed behind his ears and his sleeves rolled up. Even his always tightly buttoned collar was open and his cravat laid on the desk next to the cauldron.

“Sit down. Start reading. Don´t interrupt me.” He didn´t even bother to look up.

“Ok…” Rose said more to herself but sat down nonetheless, only that she not even tried to read. Her heart beat fast and forceful in her chest as she kept looking at Severus. This man was breath taking the way he stood there. And never ever before had she seen so much of his skin. Eventually she stopped pretending to read and asked, “Can I help you?"

“No," Severus answered still without looking up.

“But I guess I would learn a lot given the fact that you are most probably the best Potions Master in the country."

"Flatteries won't change my mind," he said and squinted into his potion, the frown on his forehead deepening gradually.

Several minutes of silence passed. Rose shifted on her chair.

"Please. Besides I can't concentrate with you rummaging over there. And last time I was allowed to watch as you brewed the Healing Potion," Rose nearly pouted.

Severus looked up and raised an eyebrow. He sighed, closed shortly his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Fine. Come over but DON´T touch anything. Do so and you will scrub bedpans in the infirmary the rest of the year. Understood?"

"Yes...Sir," she added with a smirk and ambled over. “What are you brewing?”

“Wolfsbane for Lupin,” Severus answered tersely as he added a pinch of a metallic glittering powder and squinted again into the cauldron, muttering something unintelligible.

“Is it difficult?”

Severus sighed, all hopes of keeping his concentration on the potion were dwindling. Of course she wouldn´t keep her mouth shut.

“Aconite is highly poisonous as you should know. Too less and there´s not the desired effect, too much and I would most likely kill Lupin.”

“So it is difficult…But I already guessed so, given your current appearance.” Rose smirked and her comment hit home at once. Severus gaze shot immediately up.

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

Rose let her gaze slowly roam over him, taking every detail in, again.

“Well, you're showing so much skin that you're practically naked by your standards. Even your hair is tugged neatly behind your ears…I don´t think I´ve ever seen this much of you that is not hidden beneath endless layers of clothes.”

Severus gazed thoughtful at Rose. She was definitely right and now she was definitely coming closer, crowding his personal space and making rational thinking decidedly harder. Even more so as she stroked lightly with one finger over the skin of his right wrist. Her gaze, however, lingered on his left arm and the Dark Mark that stood in swollen, dark welts up from his pallid skin.  He was tempted to pull the arm away and hide this stigma, but Rose was faster. She took his wrist and lifted his arm up, pressing a small kiss to the flawed skin. Severus closed his eyes and turned his face away. But she didn´t repeat it, instead he felt her warm mouth on his neck. Her breath ghosted over the sensitive skin as she pressed her lips softly against his pulse and left him with goose-bumps. Severus instantly ignored the bubbling potion at his side and wrapped Rose into his arms. Her lips lingered still on his neck and Severus sighed softly before he tilted her head up with one hand on her cheek. The kiss was sweet and unhurried, though cut short as Rose stepped away.

“You better finish the potion,” she remarked evenly, her cheeks coloured in a soft pink. Severus said nothing. He had difficulties to calm the beating of his heart and supress the urge to pull Rose close again and kiss her breathless. But he kept his self-control and only stroked with the back of his fingers over her cheek before he returned his attention to the potion just in time to rescue it from its impending ruin.

***

“Good,” Severus said as he filled the goblet with the blue, smoke-emitting potion.

“That´s it?” Rose asked and peered into the goblet. It smelled horrible and she was glad that she hadn´t to gulp it.

“That´s it,” Severus confirmed. “I need to bring it to him now. It should be still warm for consumption.”

“I could bring it,” Rose offered, extending her hand towards the goblet.

“No. It´s not that I don´t trust you, but if **I** trip and spill it it´s my own fault…You understand?”

“I guess…Can I come along, then? It´s almost my way back up to the common room.”  
Severus nodded and started to recondition his state of clothes.

“Do you never leave your chambers a bit more casual?”

“Have you ever seen me ‘more casual’?” he stressed.

“No. But I wonder why. I guess it´s quite time consuming to dress like this. I mean everything one can see from you is your face and half of your hands. The rest is hidden beneath your clothes.”

“I have my reasons,” he answered a bit tersely as he wrapped the cravat again around his neck and tied it up in a neat knot, tugging on his shirt to let it look out above the cravat.

Rose watched him silently as he buttoned his jacket and slid in his robe.

“It´s almost as if your clothes are some protective shield. You let no one closer than this,” Rose´s voice was only a sad whisper.

Severus approached her and pulled her suddenly into his arms.

“No one has ever touched my left arm since I have the Mark or kissed my neck as long as I can remember. I let you come close, but you´re right, nonetheless.”

“So no one can ever again humiliate you the way they did in school.”

“Very observant, Miss Potter. Maybe you´re no hopeless case after all.” He kissed her forehead and smiled. “We need to bring this to Lupin now.” He gestured to the goblet.

“Yes.” Rose turned and took her bag, “You know I didn´t read a single word?” She grinned apologetically.

“I know…You were much too occupied with gawping.”

As they walked through the castle, it was gladly already after curfew so they met no students and they talked easily about unimportant things.

At Remus´ office, Rose knocked but entered without waiting for an answer.  
What was in hindsight a major mistake because Remus was not alone.

He and Sirius were kissing and fumbling on the desk. From the door one could see perfectly how Sirius´ hand was wrapped around Remus´ cock, both their trousers dangling somewhere at their knees.

“Oi!” Rose cried and held one hand up to cover her eyes. “Can´t you lock the door?”

“Rose…How old are you? By the way, that´s what you aimed for with all your pushing that we talk, isn´t it?” Sirius asked smug and turned. His expression froze as he saw Snape. Behind him, Remus yanked his trousers up, his face reddening in a deep crimson.

“I would indeed appreciate not to see your doggish coupling the next time I´ll bring the potion,” Severus snarled and placed the goblet with Wolfsbane on the desk.

“Good night,” he added a lot friendlier to Rose and smiled. As he passed, his hand brushed “accidentally” hers.

Remus and Rose exchanged a gaze.

“Do what you like but imagine Professor McGonagall comes in and finds you like this.” Rose made a face and Remus blushed only more. Even Sirius looked a bit uncomfortable with the thought.

“Ok, ok…We better go to the bedroom and finish there what we started here.” Sirius´ mischievous grin was back in place and he growled lowly as he leant towards Remus to kiss him again.

“Ok…I´m gone!” Rose turned and closed the door with a thud. Her godfather and his lover having sex was nothing she wanted to witness, was it?

***

Back in the common room, her friends asked of course what was wrong with her.  
"Oh Merlin, please don't ask! I can't relive it. I'm all about to wash my eyeballs with soap..." she cried, throwing her arms over her head.

“Oh poor thing, come here,” Draco mock-cooed and batted his eyelashes.

“Prat!” Rose laughed and shoved him away to make space for her on the sofa. After a few more good natured insults, Rose told them eventually what had happened.

“Ok. I totally understand you didn´t wanted to share that. I will never be able to erase the pictures in my head,” Ron whined.

“We could substitute them with new ones,” Draco purred and traced his index finger over Ron´s chest.

Ron´s cheeks developed a faint pink colour, but he looked all but averse. So Draco stood up and dragged Ron to the stairs to the boy´s dorm.

“Don´t forget the silencing charms!” Rose shouted and laughed as Draco looked back and blew her a kiss, smirking broadly. The whole common room had heard her and all heads flew around only to see Draco and Ron disappear up the stairs.

Rose and Hermione giggled until Rose slapped herself on the forehead.

“I forgot to ask about Saturday.”

“Oh…Were you so occupied?”

“No. Actually I only watched him brewing.” Rose smirked and moved closer to Hermione. Before she told her about the evening, she looked around and noticed Lavender´s death stare. Rose smiled amiably and cast a nonverbal “Muffliato” so that no one would overhear them.


	13. Chapter 13

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“Rose,” Severus said lowly but insistently from behind his desk. “I can see even from here that you are doodling nonsense instead of taking notes.” He gazed over just in time to see Rose blush. On the spur of the moment he stood up and peered over her shoulder before she could hide the parchment.

“You have a sharp eye for details, even though you have to be half blind without those,” he needled and pointed at her glasses before he grabbed for the paper. The small drawing showed himself, or better his eyes, staring glowering up at the beholder.

“I´m sorry. I know I should work,” Rose said in a small voice.

Severus handed the drawing back and sat down on the armrest of her chair, gazing down. Softly he stroked some hair out of her face, his fingertips tracing a path over her forehead down to her neck where his hand stopped and he tilted her head up. 

Rose leant into his touch, her eyes closing as she inhaled deeply. Severus seemed to touch her more often since he was back. Even the day before in class, he had placed his hand on her shoulder as he´d leant down to peer into her cauldron. It definitely didn´t help her remembering that they weren´t together, especially because it felt like it.

Severus watched Rose intently, noted how her brow furrowed ever so lightly and he couldn´t help it. He had to kiss her, feel the softness of her lips, taste the sweetness of her. It was addictive, ever since he had kissed her the first time, an experience he couldn´t get out of his system and especially not out of his mind.  

Giving in to his desire, he dipped down. As his lips touched hers, Rose´s eyes flew open only to close again as she leant up and kissed him back. It was glorious. Severus had no idea how he had lived without that for so long and just as he sneaked his tongue between her lips to taste more of her, Rose made a strangled sound and pulled away. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“Don´t do that,” she whispered behind her hand, her gaze lingering almost accusingly on him.

Severus stood up. He walked past her and stopped in front of the fireplace, bracing his hands on the mantelpiece and hung his head.

“You say we aren´t together, but you kiss me every time we´re alone.”

“I know,” Severus mumbled. “I´m sorry,” he added and plonked his head against the mantelpiece.

Rose wanted to kiss him. She wanted so much more from the man but not if he wasn´t ready to call it a relationship. However, seeing him abashed about his own feelings and actions, made Rose´s heart ache. And even more as he stayed in front of the fire, sighing repeatedly. She had no idea what to do in this situation without betraying her own conviction. She stood up, nonetheless, and laid one hand on his back, then wrapped finally both arms around him and leant her forehead against him. Never before had Rose despised Bellatrix more than right now and not for wanting her dead but for the effect her aim had on Severus.

“I thought it would be simpler,” Severus said and turned in Rose´s embrace, slinging his arms around her as well.

Rose kept silent but detached herself a moment later from Severus. She dared not to gaze up at him, knowing perfectly well it would only end again in kissing, but returned to her chair, opened her book and started working in earnest.

***

“Rose! To what do I owe the honour of this late visit?” Remus smiled with glittering eyes, opening his office door further to let Rose inside.

“Heartache,” Rose mumbled and shuffled over to the sofa where she flopped down. She grabbed a fluffy pillow and wrapped her arms around it before tilting sideways and curled up into a ball.

Remus closed the door and knelt then beside Rose, stroking her cheek.

“Oh, darling.”

“Why is it so complicated?”

Remus snorted a half-chuckle and stood up. He pulled Rose into a sitting position before taking a seat on the sofa and tugging her against his chest.

“It´s always complicated when your expectations don´t match reality,” he stated and stroked Rose´s arm.

“Severus wants to be with me, but he says he can´t because of Bellatrix and because he doesn’t know anymore what she plans next. But I don´t know if I can stand how it is now between us. It´s not that I dislike his touch or his attempts of closeness, but it feels so wrong to allow it when I know he thinks we aren´t together.” Rose glanced to Remus who frowned with pursed lips.

“That I understand you right, you´re not together because Severus is worried about Bellatrix, but he can´t keep his hands off you?”

“He´s afraid he could lose me because Bellatrix might succeed with killing me. I understand him, partly, but why does it make any difference if Severus and I are together or we´re not when she kills me?”

Remus took a deep breath, leaning back and gazing for a moment at the ceiling.

“My wild guess?” he asked and shifted to look at Rose. “Losing you would be in any case devastating for him. But losing you when you´re not together means he´ll never know what exactly he loses and he might think that would be easier for him.” Remus seemed to doubt his own theory and shrugged. “Though if that is what he thinks, he really shouldn´t try to come any closer but keep you at a distance.”

Rose gazed down on her hands. Actually she knew what would be the right thing to do, but she didn´t know if she could follow through with it.

“Rose, maybe you don´t want to hear that, but I think you shouldn´t allow him to kiss you or come in any kind as close as someone would in a relationship as long as he won´t admit to be in one with you,” Remus said lowly.

Rose nodded, that was exactly what she had already thought. Her heart stuttered under its suddenly heavy weight. She had to reject Severus and alone the thought hurt.

“Do you have cookies?” she asked after several minutes of brooding and silence.

“I have something better.” Remus smirked and stood up. He opened and closed his desk in quick succession and as he came back he held ‘Honeyduke´s finest with rose blossom syrup’.

“Sirius went shopping,” he said with a broad grin and divided the chocolate bar in two pieces, giving Rose one of them.

***

Rose tried to concentrate on cutting even pieces of the Aloe leaf in front of her, but it was almost impossible with Severus skulking around her and creeping closer and closer. She felt his presence at her back and though he didn´t touch her, yet, he couldn´t be more than a hand´s breadth away.

Rose closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. She laid the knife aside and placed both hands flat on the workbench.

“Severus, please,” she said. The man shifted with rustling robes to her side. Rose turned her head and met his questioning gaze. “We need to talk.”

“Do we?” Severus replied and lifted his hand, reaching for her face. Rose shot him a withering look and stepped away. He nodded, his hand falling back at his side.

“Ok. Please listen first.” Rose raised his eyebrows and waited for Severus to acknowledge her request, he did so with a noncommittal hum. “Well, it´s because of us and the way…No. Look, I want to be with you and I want you to agree that this here is a relationship. Every time I am here you touch me, you are incredibly close and you kiss me, but at the same time you say we aren´t a couple. And that doesn´t work. I want all those things, but only when I am more to you than a student.”

“You are more to me.” Severus regarded her with a frown and slightly exasperated expression.

“So, we are together then?” Rose asked hopefully.

Severus shook his head. “No, Rose I told you I can´t as long…”

“Yes,” she interrupted him. “I know what you said.” She gazed further at Severus, biting her bottom lip while she contemplated how to break her decision to him. Finally she took the direct way. “You have to stop kissing me.”

To her surprise Severus nodded, though he didn´t look happy about it.

“Fair enough, I guess. I understand and respect your point of view.”

They looked for several more moments at each other until Rose turned away and returned to cutting the Aloe.

“Severus? Do you think I could go to Hogsmeade next weekend?” Rose asked, striving for a casual tone. Severus´ low chuckle and the soft touch on her shoulder calmed her more than she wanted to admit and she peered expectantly over to the man.

“Let´s see how usable your cooling-salve turns out, will we?”

Rose curled her lips but plunged with new zeal into her preparations.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something nice. A little fluff :)

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

“I don´t know if I like it,” Rose muttered and trudged through the snow.

“You said you wanted to go to Hogsmeade and that´s what we're doing, isn´t it?” Severus grinned smugly.

“Yeah, but I was referring to going with my friends.”

“I´m so sorry that you dislike my company.” He chuckled.

“You know exactly that's not the point!” Rose said, glaring at Severus.

“Now, seriously. We´ll go to the apothecary´s shop and you´ll help me work through my list and if you´d like, I´ll buy you a butterbeer afterwards,” Severus offered and sidled closer, seemingly to avoid a snowdrift, only that he didn´t step back again.

“Really? You and me in the Broomsticks? And the gossip will find new highs…” Rose was frustrated. On the one hand it was exactly what she wanted, but on the other hand they still had to pretend to be just student and teacher, which was for itself difficult enough. And the fact that she´d prohibited him to kiss her made her ache even more for his closeness.

Severus sighed. He understood her, but it was the best he had to offer in their situation.

“If you don´t want to we can also go back to the castle,” he said and glared at a group of third years in front of Zonko´s.

“No, I´m fine. How long is your list?”

Severus showed her the parchment and suppressed a laugh as he saw her face. Rose read the list a few times, her mood plummeting further with each go. Finally she sighed and thrust the paper back into his hand.

***

“Just keep this expression and no one would suspect that we like each other,” Severus whispered as they walked down the road to the pub.

Rose glared at him. His damned list had been so long it had taken two hours to work through. Two hours in a dim, pungent smelling room that was barely big enough that two adults could move without bumping every other step into each other.

Severus nodded in approval of her scowl.

“Even better. You could spice it up with an insult, though, don´t you think?”

“I´ll spice you up if you don´t zip it!” Rose hissed and muttered further under her breath as she noticed Severus' amused glinting eyes.

They reached the crowded pup and came to a full stop right behind the door. At first glance there wasn´t a free seat, but Severus caught sight of a small niche at the far end of the room which was still empty. He bent down to Rose and pointed the direction while he went to order their drinks.

“Here.” He handed her a mug with warm butterbeer and sat down on the opposite side of the two-person table, their knees brushed comfortably against each other and both acknowledged this with a small smile.

From the depth of his cloak, Severus retrieved a book and placed it in front of Rose. Her eyes widened.

“Where…?” Rose began.

“You forgot it on my coffee table.”

Rose reached out, but Severus laid his hand above the cover and with that also above Rose´s hand.

“Where did you get it?” he asked.

Rose shivered lightly under his touch. Severus had never before touched her so openly outside of his quarters and she´d like to prolong it. Anyway, she was unsure what to answer, particularly as she saw his suspicious look. But then again, it was no crime to possess an old school book, was it?

“I found it in the Room of Requirements. Why? It´s not forbidden, it´s just an old school book. In fact, this book is brilliant. The former owner was a potions genius, given all the things he added. There are changes in the book, I think with the help of them I might´ve never been this mediocre in Potions. He invented also his own spells…I mean, if that isn´t genius. I´ve not read everything, but some of the spells come in quite handy,” Rose babbled and looked lovingly down on her treasure, still partly obscured by her and Severus´ hand.

“Oh please, tell me more about this genius and why you´re so fascinated,” Severus said evenly and sipped on his butterbeer as Rose made a small break for air.

Confused, Rose looked up, realising with whom she talked.

“I´m sorry…I mean…God, you´re…”

“No, no. By all means, please go on. It´s quite flattering, being called a genius.”

Uncomprehendingly Rose gaped at Severus who finally took his hand off hers and opened the book, pointing on the inscription.

“Have you never wondered who the Half-blood Prince is?” Severus asked. A small smile crept over his face as Rose fidgeted on her chair, still not getting what he implied.

“Yes. But…”

“Rose,” he said lowly, beseechingly. “It´s me. You found my old school book. I thought it was lost, but obviously I was wrong.”

Rose stared open mouthed over the table and Severus already feared she might´ve fallen in catatonia until she finally found her voice again. 

“Hell, of course I knew the handwriting.” She slapped soundly her hand against her forehead. “Blimey, that´s brilliant. You know I tried a potion in the first week after holidays and it was just like it should be. I mean it was only a simple ‘Cheer-me-up-Potion’, but it worked. I don´t think I ever before managed a success with the first try. And now I know that you helped me cheer up about you.” She grinned, but Severus pursed his lips, causing her to look almost sheepish at him in return.

“You are aware that I never use the recipes as they are printed in the book but write my own lessons on the board, every day? It should make no difference if you follow my instructions on the board or out of my old book.” Severus raised his eyebrows, eager to hear her explanation.

“Yes, might be. But I was not exactly fond of Potions or you in general, until recently that is, and to be fair, I had enormous gaps in mostly everything Potions related before you started teaching me,” Rose said with a casual shrug of one shoulder.

“So it´s my fault in both cases, because I never made sure to enlighten you on your biggest mistakes or helped you through your initial period and then because I pretended to dislike you whole-heartedly.” Severus sighed dramatically but chuckled and then joined Rose in her laughter.

Soon after they were completely absorbed in their conversation about the book, some of the spells, Potions in general and some more casual topics, absolutely oblivious to their surrounding and that not only a few students watched them, but the whole pub peered unconcealed over to them.

***

“You´re extremely sweet together,” someone whispered in Rose´s ear and wrapped an arm around her waist. She looked up and met Draco´s grey gaze. “And you were maybe just a tiny little bit too relaxed with each other,” he added and held his hand in front of her face with thumb and index finger almost touching.

Rose swallowed.

“What do you mean?” She sat down at the Gryffindor table and poured herself some juice to calm her nerves.

“Our dearest Potions Master was not in character today, at least not for those who don´t know him more in private. Not only did he visit the Three Broomsticks, he was also there with you. **A** **nd** you were so absorbed into talking that you didn´t notice that about half of the student body saw you two together. Or better watched you like a crime scene.”

“Yeah, but we just talked…” Rose replied feebly.

“Well no. It´s not **that** you talked but more **how**. Severus smiled and laughed a lot, you know. And I might have seen him reach for your hand one or two…hundred times.” Draco had this damn smug grin on his face that made Rose mad and urged her more than anything else to punch it away.

“Lavender was there, right?” Rose glanced over to the Head table and, as if they were magically connected, Severus looked up. He frowned slightly about her worried expression.

“Yes,” Draco confirmed.

“Ok, then how bad is it exactly?”

“On a range from 1 to 10…I would say…15.”

Rose groaned and buried her face in her hands. Draco patted her shoulder.

“Stop pretending you don´t fuck him,” Lavender hissed in Rose´s ear, appearing out of nowhere. Rose´s head shot up and she glared at her classmate.

“Just piss off!” she hissed back.

“Oh, but why? I think I want sit right here.” Lavender smiled spitefully.

“You heard her!” Draco growled and for a short moment Lavender´s self-confidence wavered, but then she snorted.

“Tell me not you don´t think it too. You looked over all the time and must have seen it.”

Rose gazed at Draco.

“I only saw one of our teachers in a conversation with a student.” Draco shrugged and directed his attention to his dinner. Hermione watched the scene cautiously from the other side of the table, but glanced briefly to Ron. Though he was gladly too occupied with the food as to realise what was happening next to him.

“Lavender, what do you want? Really. You invest so much energy in this matter one could think you´re jealous,” Rose said.

“Jealous? Are you mad?” Lavender asked incredulously.

“Fine, so you´re not. Then stop defaming me and babble nonsense wherever you go.”

“Defaming you? You had this little tête-à-tête with Snape in public, so why are you even wondering that everyone gossips?”

Rose slowly lost her patience. Even breathing as controlled as possible did nothing to help.

“So you dedicated yourself to stalk me and tell everyone what you think you see?”

“What I think I see? Half of the school saw your flirting today.”

Rose groaned inwardly. Why had they, after all, gone to the pub together? Such a blatantly stupid idea.

“I´m sorry. I forgot that someone as imbecilic as you can´t tell the difference between small talk and sex. My fault,” Rose sneered and rolled her eyes.

“You think you´re so clever and so much better than everyone else in this school. You get everything you want just because you´re famous Rose Potter, the Girl-Who-Lived and saviour of our world. And if you decide to play against the rules it´s ok. It´s even ok when you go and fuck around the whole school!” Lavender had jumped up and shouted down on Rose. The whole Great Hall was silent by this point, watching the opponents with rising fascination. Rose stood up too, pointing her wand at Lavender. Her hand shook with the force to suppress her anger.

“Watch out what you say! I´m not the one who gets nailed in every empty classroom like a common whore,” Rose spat and recognised out of the corner of her eye movement.

“Yeah, and you´re so innocent and adorable! So Snape didn´t shag you last Halloween in this classroom he dragged you in?”

Rose´s expression dropped, but before she could say anything further, Severus and Professor McGonagall stormed towards them.

They looked both beyond furious. Severus stepped between the girls. He took hold of Rose´s wand arm and gave her a pointed look. An electric tingle rushed through her body at his touch. She lowered her wand, but Severus didn´t withdraw his hand, only shifted it to get hold of her elbow.

“Miss Brown, Miss Potter! What are you thinking?” Professor McGonagall asked sternly. Her gaze flicked shortly over to Snape and Rose and his hand on her arm, the corners of her mouth twitching downward in disapproval. 

“I tend to believe that Miss Brown tried again to provoke Miss Potter, this time successfully,” Severus noted.

“See, he even defends her!” Lavender shrieked, pointing accusingly at Severus who merely raised an eyebrow at Lavender then turned to Professor McGonagall.

“As amusing as Miss Browns accusations are, Professor Dumbledore asked for Rose´s presence in his office. Now,” he stressed and fixed his colleague with a blank gaze.

Exasperated, McGonagall sighed but nodded, waving for them to leave.

Severus tugged on Rose´s elbow to guide her away from a wailing and ranting Lavender and a furious Professor McGonagall. They were a good distance off the Great Hall as Severus stopped and shoved Rose into an alcove.

“Why the hell do you let her provoke you?” Severus hissed, blocking the way.

“What should I do in your opinion? Sit it out?” Rose retorted. She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled defiantly up at him.

“Yes!”

“Draco saw us, too, and he thinks we were plenty obvious. You´re still thinking I should ignore Lavender instead of trying to shut her up?”

Severus stared back at her before the tension left his body like air a holey balloon. He rubbed over his face.

“I´m sorry, you were right as you said there would be only more gossip. Maybe it was a bad idea to go out together.”

Rose shook vehemently her head even though she´d thought the same not too long ago.

“No, it wasn´t. I really liked our date and I heard enough blather over the years that I usually just ignore most of it. But it´s different now. It´s not only about me anymore. I´m afraid it might do more harm than good.”

“More harm than good,” Severus repeated. “Why don´t you say it as it is? You think I withdraw my promise because I might fear for my reputation.”

“Yes,” Rose admitted sheepishly. Severus sighed and pushed her more into the shadows, following her closely. They stood now almost toe to toe. Severus lifted one hand to softly cup the side of her neck, his thumb stroked over her cheek.

“Rose, there is no official prohibition of teacher-student-relationships, though it is frowned upon from a moral point of view. The bigger problem is you´re not of age, yet, and that is prohibited. They would claim I´d taken advantage of you and in the worst case I´d be put on trial.”

Rose paled and tried to swallow, but her throat was suddenly too dry.

“It´s January. I´m only seventeen in July,” she croaked desperately. Severus brought his second hand up to touch the other side of her neck.

“And that´s no problem, just a small inconvenience,” he said patiently, nodding to reassure Rose.

But Rose stared at Severus with disbelieving, widened eyes.

“Inconvenience? You expect me to wait for half a year until you´re ready to call it a relationship. That´s no inconvenience.”

“What? No, you misunderstand me,” Severus pulled her against his chest and murmured into her hair, “I´ll keep my word to be with you. It just can't be official. We can´t be seen together as anything apart from teacher and student. And we need to talk to Dumbledore. He must know in case someone finds out before you´re seventeen. Rose, do you understand?”

“So, we just hide in your chambers?” Rose gazed hopefully up to him and Severus smiled.

“Where else to keep our secret save?”

“Pity…I´d hoped we could shock Lavender with a passionate kiss…but now it must wait another six months,” she said with more cheek than she´d thought possible only a minute ago.

“Poor thing, you´ll survive it, I´m sure.” Severus kissed her fleetingly on the forehead. “Come now, you should return to your common room.”

“And what about Dumbledore?”

“Oh that. I lied,” he said casually, close to bored, and shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, sorry, not completely fluff...


	15. Chapter 15

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Originally Rose had scheduled Quidditch training for Sunday, but as she woke up and looked out of the window, she discarded the thought. The sky was grey and ice and rain plunged in a huge amount to the still snowy and frozen ground. From inside and curled under her warm blanket, it looked so unfriendly that she didn´t feel the slightest desire of getting soaked and risk pneumonia.

She looked around and noticed that she was the last in the dorm. Well, at least she had not come across Lavender, yet. But there was still the crowd in the common room, surely waiting for her to come down. Rose entertained no doubt that her housemates were as sceptic as the day before, concerning the real nature of her relationship with Professor Snape. Thanks to Lavender and her never ending supply on suspicions and rumours everyone, with almost no exception, believed that Rose lied and she and Severus had at least sex in exchange for better grades in Potions. Rose´s denial of the matter had been happily ignored.

After a catlick, she peeked into the common room and found it to her surprise empty except for her friends.

“Ah good morning, princess. Well rested?” Draco grinned.

“Mostly,” she grumbled, her thoughts still on the day before. “Ron? Given the current weather, I´ll delay Quidditch training. Could you spread the word?” She flopped down in front of the fire, brooding silently.

“Aren´t you going down?” Ron asked surprised and frowned as Rose shook her head. He´d never understand how someone could skip meals.

“I´m not hungry and to tell the truth, I´m also not overly eager to hear more gossip.”  

Her friends partly understood, partly just accepted it and left for breakfast. Rose actually yearned to go to Severus´ office, but he was most likely in the Great Hall too, so she would wait until the others were back. Considering her options, she decided to write to Sirius.

_Hey Sirius,_

_How are you? And how was your evening with Remus?_

_I´m sorry that I just burst into, but who could think that you were practically…well doing things I don´t want to know too precisely._

_School is mad as ever. I miss Grimmauld Place and you of course. I hope Narcissa is well too. Please say hello from me. Anyway, how did she take the news? The first Gryffindor in the family, huh?_

_Hope to see or hear from you soon!_

_Love Rose_

After finishing, she made her way slowly up to the owlery.

“Hey!” Rose grinned as Hedwig swooped down and landed on her shoulder. “How are you? What do you think about some workout?” She ruffled through the owl´s white feathers. Hedwig hooted indignantly and nipped at Rose´s ear. “Ouch! Sorry!” She stroked softer, smoothing the feathers and Hedwig hooted mollified.

Rose walked over to the window and attached her letter to Hedwig´s leg.

“Sorry that the weather is not so nice. Take your time and warm up at home before you come back.” With a last stroke over the white feathers, she sent her owl away and watched her shrink to a small dot against the grey sky until she was completely out of sight.

Sighing, Rose left and was making her way back to Gryffindor tower as slow as her walk to the owlery when someone called for her.

“Rose, Professor Snape wants to see you in his office,” Colin Creevey said a bit breathless, but that didn´t stop his face from lighting up in adoration.

Rose was powerless against the smile that spread over her face at the mention of Severus.

“Thanks, Colin,” she said and hurried away.

She knocked.

“Enter,” Snape´s cold voice demanded and Rose´s heart sunk. As they´d parted the day before he´d been in an exceptionally good mood so something must have happened since then.

Cautiously she opened the door and spotted him standing rigidly behind his desk. In front of the desk sat Lavender, looking intently to the floor. Her presence was an explanation for his mood, Rose guessed.

“Miss Potter, stop gawping like an intellectually challenged mountain troll and sit down.”

Helpless against the sudden hurt, Rose crossed the room and sat next to Lavender who shot her a nasty glare.

Without further preamble Severus leant a little forward, looming above the girls, though still standing behind his desk and said, “I don´t care what differences are between you, but you won´t shout my name in such a defaming way in the middle of the Great Hall again.” He looked down his nose at the two girls. “You´ll both serve detention with me next week.”

“But,” both Lavender and Rose started but quieted as Severus straightened to his full height, glaring murderously.

“No talking back or you´ll spend every evening for the rest of the school year under my supervision. Regarding you, Miss Brown, I already spoke with Professor McGonagall. You will spend the weekend with her and be here Monday to Friday.” He paused, gazing at Lavender. “You may go. Miss Potter, you´ll stay. We need to discuss your last essay.” He waved a piece of parchment with an unmistakable big red “D” through the air.

Rose saw Lavender smirking as she hurried out of the room.

“That is not my…” Rose began to protest.

“I know, it´s a third years,” Severus said and put the essay aside. He walked over to the hidden door, gesturing for Rose to follow him. Hesitantly Rose lingered just behind the doorway until Severus turned to face her. His gaze roamed over her. Taking in every detail of her clearly bothered figure.

“I´m sorry to give you detention, too, but otherwise it would only raise more suspicions,” he said.

Rose relaxed and smiled.

“Good, for a moment I was afraid you´re angry with me.” She walked the few steps up to Severus and stretched to press a kiss to his lips. Immediately Severus´ arms encircled her and brought her as close as possible to his chest, lifting her up to her toes. Hungrily he took the offered mouth and prised a sweet gasp off it.

“I thought you banned kissing. Not that I mind, though,” Severus said after releasing Rose.

Rose straightened and narrowed her eyes.

“I thought…”

“Oh.” Severus expression crumpled from blissful surprised to almost desperate.

“What oh?” Rose demanded to know.

“I´m afraid you misunderstood me yesterday.”

“Really?” Rose asked, the challenge clear in her voice, and crossed the room to lean against the desk, arms folded in front her.

“I assume you think I agreed to call this a relationship now.” He weighed his words gingerly.

“You´re right. I did. But I guess you´ll tell me now I got it wrong.”

“Rose…” Severus closed the space between them and laid his hands on her shoulders.

“No.” She turned out of his grasp and glared at him. “I don´t understand it. Why can´t we be together? What are you waiting for?”

Severus took her former position, leant against his desk and held his hand out to her. He said nothing just waited for Rose to move. As she finally took his hand, he pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her and explained in a low voice, “I can´t be with you as long as I don´t know what Bellatrix plans. I hope I´m wiser after she summoned me again.”

Rose tried again to move away, but Severus held her against him.

“Please try to understand my position. I have to know what she plans and that you´re not in more danger when I finally decide to honour my promise to you.”

“That´s mad! What difference could it make? I don´t see any advantage for her,” Rose yelled, struggling still to get free. Severus loosened his arms finally. Rose took a step back and looked in his face. “Severus…Please! It makes no difference.”

 “It **makes** a difference. To me.”

“Believe me, I see the threat Bellatrix embodies. But what could she do that it matters if we´re together or not? And what if she won´t summon you?”

Severus swallowed. Rose saw his jaw working while he thought. Obviously there was something he knew but hadn´t shared until now.

“Lucius told us she wants me to deliver a message to Dumbledore. So she will summon me. She has a plan. Or she works on a plan. She wants to infiltrate Hogwarts. According to Lucius she managed to lay hand on a batch of Polyjuice Potion.”

“So what?”

“So what if she strolls into the school in my skin?” Severus retorted more heated now and clearly upset.

Rose considered this for a moment but then shook her head.

“Do you really think I couldn´t distinguish you from her?”

“Bellatrix knows about our feelings. She assumes we´re together. So if I ever act around you as if we´re in a relationship you´ll know it isn´t me.”

All Rose could do was laugh in disbelieve. Holy hell, was he really so blind?

“Blimey Severus, you know I should run now, actually? You behave all the time as if we´re together already. You only stopped kissing me because I told you so. Really, your argumentation is rubbish.” Rose was exasperated. She didn´t want to fight anymore.

“My answer remains the same,” Severus said, though hesitantly. He had heard her arguments and she was all but wrong with her conclusion, still he couldn´t do it, couldn´t be with her.

“You know what Remus thinks? He thinks you won´t be with me because you fear my loss would hurt you too much and that it´s easier if you pretend you never had me. But you´re wrong. We are already together, it´s only you denying it.”

Severus´ composure dropped for a split-second, but it was long enough for Rose to see the truth of her words. Their eyes locked in a silent staring contest until Severus finally shook his head. Rose on the opposite nodded, but her lip trembled as she tried to keep her emotions at bay.

“Then I´m sorry. I can´t stand that. I want to be with you, but that here, this half thing, that hurts. That hurts so much. And as long as you won´t change it, I will be here only for my extra lessons, nothing more. Including exuberant private talk afterwards.”

Rose saw Severus swallow and hoped he would change his mind.

“Fair enough,” he replied evenly, though his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.

“Great!” Rose made a clicking sound with her tongue and already regretted what she´d said but was also too stubborn to take it back. “Then I guess, we´ll see us for detention.” Without waiting for an answer she stormed out of the room.

***

“Remus!” Rose banged against his office door and tried to ignore the small bats that followed her. She was unable to make them vanish.

Damn you Severus, for complicating my life even more, she thought bitterly.

The lock clicked and Remus peered through the gap.

“Rose,” he said hoarsely but eyed the animals flying around Rose´s head with curious interest.

“Can I come in?” she asked, her former fervour dissolving. She looked over her shoulder as a group of Hufflepuffs passed her and heard them whispering.

“Of course.” Remus stepped aside and let her in. Only now, Rose realised that she must have woken him. He wore only pyjama pants and his hair was ruffled and stood in every direction. She stared at him. It was terribly, awkward but she couldn´t help it. She had lived for weeks with him in the same house but had never seen him without a shirt. Boy, who had thought that he hid under his mild-mannered, slightly outmoded clothes a body one could not misprize. No wonder Sirius was hormonal about him like a school boy. Not even all those scars across his skin made him any less attractive, actually quite the opposite.

“Rose?” Remus asked and sounded just as it was not the first time. She tried to compose herself and closed her mouth that, to her growing horror, stood open.

“Sorry…” she mumbled and finally prised her eyes off his body and lifted her gaze to his face. “Did I wake you?”

“Well…yes…” Remus watched still the bats and chose to ignore the fact that Rose had starred for several seconds open mouthed at his naked chest. “Are they your new companions now?”

Groaning, Rose sank onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands.

“I can´t get rid of them. They were suddenly there again and now they´re following me…”

Remus chuckled and with a swish of his wand, the tiny bats vanished into nothingness.

“Is there something else I can help you with?” He smiled kindly.

Rose looked up and even before she had made the conscious decision to do so, the words tumbled from her lips and in a rush she retold her meeting with Severus.

Remus paced through his office, clearly agitated. He stopped briefly to study the newly materialised bats which fluttered under the ceiling before resuming his path across the room.

“I can somehow understand Severus,” he said. “But I agree with you. And I think you made the right decision, even though it is a hard one and hurts.” Finally he walked over to Rose and took the seat next to her. He pulled her into his arms. The tears that she had held back all the time while telling her story broke free now and spilled in rivulets down her cheeks, dropping from her chin and running over Remus´ chest.

Remus held her and stroked soothingly over her hair until her tears stopped and her sobs ceased to small hiccups.

“Rose, have you ever tried to cast your Patronus since our Dementor lesson?” Remus asked and startled Rose into complete silence. With swollen, red eyes she peered up and sniffed noisily before shaking her head.

“Why?”

“Sometimes the form of a Patronus can change, you know. Especially in cases like yours. Love is a strong force.”

“It can change?” she asked with rising panic but Remus encouraged her to give it a try and watched her expectantly. Though even after the fifth attempt Rose couldn´t produce a Patronus, not even a whiff of the white, pearly smoke it was when not in a corporal form. Frustrated, Rose kicked the nearest chair and flopped down. Remus said nothing and just leant back on the sofa.

“Why won´t it work?” Rose grumbled irritated.

“Relax and…”

“Don´t you tell me to relax!” she snapped but closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. It was not Remus´ fault, if at all it was Severus´. She only had to find a truly happy memory or thought. Couldn´t be that difficult, right?

Rose wracked her brain until she finally thought about what would make her really happy: Severus and herself as a couple, officially blessed by Dumbledore and most importantly by Sirius. Rose smiled and whispered the spell.

 “Oh…” Remus said softly.

Rose opened her eyes and groaned. Her beautiful, graceful stag was a bat, too.

“No. Please tell me it will change back,” Rose pleaded.

“I can´t give you that promise, darling. A corporal Patronus is highly personal and when it changes for a reason it could or could not change back…” He stopped as he saw Rose´s pained expression. “Come here.” Remus opened his arms. Rose leant her head against his shoulder, again overly aware that he still wore no shirt.

“If it doesn´t change back…With all the blathering, everyone will immediately know why it´s a bat.” Rose closed her eyes and shook her head.

“You won´t have to show it. I was only curious, so no one else will know.”

Rose look up and another three small, fluffy bats reappeared above her head and joined the already existing two. “Merlin! That just can´t be true!”

“Maybe you should relax…” Remus couldn´t hide his amusement as he stroked Rose´s back soothingly and watched the bats.

“Oh yeah great idea. It´s so easy to relax when the whole school thinks you´re involved with one of the teachers and all you can think about is this teacher, but you have to pretend it´s all not true,” Rose snarled and pushed herself away from Remus to glare at the man.

“I´m sure Madam Pomfrey could aid you with a calming draught and then these sweet guys will disappear.”

Remus was so kind and calm that Rose felt promptly ashamed for being rude. She sighed and hung her head. But Remus took obviously no offence in her behaviour.

He stroked over her neck and said, "Wait a second. I´ll get dressed and then go and fetch it for you.”

A few minutes later he came back as his usual self. Simple pants, long-sleeved shirt and cardigan, but his hair was still a bit unruly what conjured a small smile on Rose´s lips, she liked it a lot this way.

“Stay here and I´ll be back soon,” Remus said and left.

To Rose´s discontent Remus wasn´t alone as he came back into the office, but Severus followed him. He looked at her and frowned.

“I´m sorry. Poppy had nothing stocked so I thought I´d go directly to the source,” Remus said apologetically with a shrug.

“Here. This will help you,” Severus said. He grasped one of her hands and placed a vial into it. “Take ten drops with a glass of water, preferably with your breakfast,” he said calmly. So calm it angered Rose instantly, irrational as it was.

“It´s not that complicated. Remus could have told me, too,” she muttered through gritted teeth.

Severus glanced over his shoulder at Remus before frowning slightly at Rose.

“He could, I guess. But you stormed away and I didn´t have the chance to say anything.”

“There is nothing more to say, really. Thank you for the draught. Bye,” Rose said dismissively and looked in another direction. She heard Severus´ weary sigh and the office door closing, but as she turned her head it was Remus who was gone while Severus still stood next to her.

“Rose, I´m sorry that you´re hurting. It´s the last thing I want, but…”

“It´s your choice. It needn´t be like this.”

Severus sat gingerly next to Rose, but she moved away, shaking her head vehemently.

“No. Please, let it be and leave me alone.”

Severus opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again, acknowledging Rose´s request.

“Take the draught.” He stood up and left Remus´ office.

Rose snuffled and banged her head against the cushioned headrest of the sofa.

As Remus came back, two hours later after lunch, she still sat on his sofa and no fewer than thirty tiny bats fluttered through the room.


	16. Chapter 16

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

After such a catastrophic weekend, Rose had not much hope that it would get better and was of course confirmed as the following week proved to be purely unpleasant. Praise the pessimism…

Rose spent every evening in the company of Lavender down in the dungeons. They cleaned the shelves in the student´s storage room and renewed the ingredients´ labels. At first Rose had thought it would be an easy task, but there were far more ingredients stored than she had guessed and the shelves seemed to have an expanding charm on them, there was no other explanation why else the second rows had second rows. And then there was the dirt. It was not simply dust they had to clean away but spilled liquids, dried up frog entrails and whatsoever.  

Adding to her misery was the fact that Severus was nasty as hell and she couldn´t say if it was show for Lavender or if he really was cross with her. It was not at all surprising that her mood sank with every evening in the dungeons and then it got even worse when she came back to the common room and started on her increasing pile of homework. Right now, Rose hated her life like never before.

Friday morning, after maybe two hours of sleep, Rose woke up with such a headache she was sure someone had tried to split her skull with an axe. Somehow she managed to survive Defence without yelling at everyone or melting into a teary puddle on the floor, but at lunch the whispers around her became louder and louder until Hermione looked above her head.

“I thought the calming draught would help,” Hermione said, eying the bats.

Rose brooded a moment before she answered, “I forgot it this morning”. Without any more explanation, she stood up and rushed out of the room. Considering, she made her way down to the Potions classroom.  At least there it was cold, dark and most important: silent.

Luckily the door was open and so she slipped inside. With closed eyes, she leant her forehead against the cold stone wall. She was so tired she could fall asleep while standing and only her throbbing head prevented it.

“Are you not well?” Severus´ soft voice and his hand on her shoulder made her almost jump.

Rose nodded but regretted even that as her vision blurred with pain. Severus cupped her face tenderly and stroked over her cheeks.

“I guess this week is not overly enjoyable for you. And you haven´t taken the calming draught.” He peered above Rose´s head.

“I forgot. I´m so tired. I´m down here every evening. I´m never back before midnight and then my homework´s waiting for me. I sleep maybe two hours per night and above all there´s everything between us and you´re so mean,” Rose voice faded into a sob. She had missed Severus all the time but until this moment she had no idea how much.

Severus flicked his wand and the bats were gone. Then he put his arms around Rose and stroked her back. If her looks hadn´t been already an indicator for her discomfort, the fact that she didn´t push him away definitely was.

“I´m sorry, but we both knew it would be necessary to keep up the appearance.” Severus tightened his arms a bit further around her.

“That is not the worst,” Rose mumbled into his chest.

Severus kept silent. There was no use in saying anything. It would only end in an argument and then Rose would push him away, so silence ensured for him to be able to hold her a moment longer.

“My head hurts so,” Rose whined and lifted her hand to lay a palm across her forehead. She sighed almost contently as Severus replaced her hand with his own cool fingers.

“You feel a bit warm. I´ll see you to Madam Pomfrey.”

“No. I´ve survived Defence. I´m sure I´ll manage Potions,” Rose said stubbornly, though weakly. Severus chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

“Severus…” she warned him.

“Yes, but you need this right now.” He pulled her close again. She was not the only one in need of contact. It was simply impossible for him to stay away from her. Every fibre of his body longed to be close to her. Severus felt how Rose relaxed against him. He grumbled as the bell signalled the end of lunchtime. In only a few minutes Rose´s classmates would be here. Grudgingly he stepped away from Rose and rummaged through his robes.

“Here,” he said as he found a small vial with a blue liquid. “It´s a painkiller, wait in the corridor. But sit down when you take it, you will feel dizzy for a moment.” He pushed her with soft force out of the classroom and went into the adjoining room.

***

“Rose, there you are.” Hermione crouched down beside her. “Are you ok?”

“Headache…But I took something, now I wait for it to kick in and the dizziness to vanish,” Rose mumbled a little unclear.

“Your bats are gone.”

“Severus…” Rose pointed at the classroom door.

“We should go in,” Draco said and held his hand towards Rose to help her to her feet.

Rose let Draco pull her up but lost her footing and stumbled into his arms. He, Rose and Hermione giggled. “Oh Merlin…He drugged me,” Rose whispered, still giggling. At closer inspection the corridor around her started spinning but stopped gladly as she shook her head.

“Ok. I think it´s ok now.” She let go of Draco and walked only slightly swaying to the door which Severus had already opened.

***

From the front of the class, Severus watched the students file into the room. As he saw Rose, he made a step forwards, narrowing his eyes. She stumbled with unsteady steps forwards and showed a rather disconnected expression.

She made it, somehow, to the second row from the front before she tripped. With a swift movement Severus grabbed her shoulders and tried to steady her, but she sagged against him, head lolling to the side.

“Rose!” he gasped and lifted her up into his arms.

Whispers spread through the class as they all saw Rose collapse into Snape´s arms.

“You wait here. I´ll bring Miss Potter to the infirmary,” Severus said to the students and walked away.

Merlin, he could slap himself. Carrying Rose through the castle now, he felt how light she was. The pain reliever was his own, designed mostly for smaller headaches or other minor pain but of course it should have occurred to him that it was still too strong for a small, almost weightless person like Rose.

Poppy was all but happy to see Rose again and she raised an eyebrow as Severus explained what had happened.

“Next time you send students immediately to me, Severus!” she scolded and dismissed him with pursed lips.

***

“You obviously love the infirmary,” Draco smirked as he sat down on Rose´s bedside.

“Oh, I really do not…But what can I do when I get poisoned all the time?” Rose answered.

It was just after dinner and Madam Pomfrey had ordered that she had to stay overnight just to make sure. Though, after Rose´s pleading, the medi-witch allowed her friends to visit and granted them the time until curfew.

“How was Potions?” Rose added.

“Oh…Severus was most of the time slightly absentminded and didn´t pay proper attention to what we were doing. Actually I don´t think he noticed anything apart from his own thoughts.” Draco shrugged while Hermione added, “He blames himself for what happened.”

“Yeah, well, that´s not completely wrong, is it? Could you bring him a note anyway?” Rose asked Draco.

Hermione sat up. “So you´re talking again?” she asked.

“No, actually not. I…I have no idea. He was nice. Though seeing it the other way around it´s his fault I´m here again.” Rose shrugged “Not that I think he´d planned it.”

“Whatever, I don´t think it´s necessary to write him, he will surely come and see after you on his own,” Draco said with a grin and shot Hermione an irritated look as she nudged him with her elbow.

“He certainly would, but Lavender has her last day of detention with him.” Rose curled her lips. She wondered briefly what was wrong with Hermione.

“Well, then write your little love letter.” Draco smirked teasingly. Hermione stroked with an exasperated sigh over her raised eyebrows and finally the other two understood.

Rose paled. They completely forgot that Ron had no clue about the greater context. Hermione, Draco and Rose looked to Ron. He frowned and one could practically hear the little gearwheels come to a screeching halt as Ron finally added all the pieces to a whole picture.

Horrified he stared at Rose and then to his boyfriend and Hermione.

“The rumours are true then?” he choked out. “And you knew about it?” Ron´s mouth stood wide open as he gawped around.

Rose shifted uncomfortably in her bed but glared with crossed arms to Draco who looked ashamed down on his hands.

“Jeez…That explains a lot!” Ron giggled and as he saw in the shocked faces of his friends, he broke out into laughter.

Rose was reminded of the last time Ron had reacted this way.

Awkward silence spread between them until Ron sobered again.

“You really think I´m stupid, don´t you? I always knew you three had a secret. I mean, it was obvious as much as you whispered and always stopped when I joined you, but I trusted you that you would tell me at some point about it. I guessed it might have something to do with you and Snape and that that what you told me about why you are now on friendly terms is only half the truth. Then the gossip started and last week you were with him in Hogsmeade. Blimey, Rose it´s as plain as the nose on your face that you have a thing for the greasy git…Though I haven´t thought it would be such a thing…” Ron said with a frown.

“I´m sorry, we haven´t told you. I feared you wouldn´t understand and be…I don´t know what I thought you would be. Can you forgive me?” Rose took Ron´s hand and looked pleadingly up to him.

“Only when you tell me the whole story,” he answered, looking determined.

Rose looked unsure to Hermione and then much longer to Draco, but eventually she sighed and shrugged.

“Ok. Take a seat, fasten the belt and listen closely.”

It was right before curfew as Rose finally ended with her little story. Over the course of it, even Hermione had looked up a few times as she learned something new. Only Draco was fully in the picture all the time.

“I can´t imagine him differently than how I´ve known him the last years. But he can´t be all that nasty when you like him, even love him,” was the first thing Ron said aloud. He looked a bit pale and eyed Rose carefully.

Rose smiled and leant forward.

“He´s different in private not like he´s in class. Though at the moment…” Rose let the sentence end there, shrugging as if to shake the thought off.

Their little chat group was disturbed by Madam Pomfrey who waved threatening with her pocket-watch.

“It´s already after nine. Shush, shush, see that you find your way to your common room,” she shooed Draco, Ron and Hermione out of the room and gave them not even time to properly say goodbye. Then she turned with a critical look to Rose.

“One thing you should know about this castle, my dear: Some walls are thin or even have ears, you should be more cautious what you say out loud.”

Rose groaned and covered her eyes with one hand. But of course Madam Pomfrey had overheard them.

“You won´t tell anyone, will you?” she asked pleadingly.

“I have no idea what you´re talking about” The medi-witch stated and left the patients room for her office.

***

Poppy hadn´t allowed him to come in, so Albus Dumbledore waited patiently in front of the doors of the infirmary which finally opened at half past nine.

“Rose, my dear girl!” He beamed at the young woman. “Mind to have a little walk with me?” He held his arm towards her and waited for her to take it before he led her down the corridor. Obviously unsure what to think, Rose glanced repeatedly up to him.

“How are you?”

“Oh, uhm, better than yesterday.” Rose smiled shyly.

“Wonderful.”

Silently Dumbledore guided Rose the rest of the way through the castle until they reached the Gargoyle that marked the entrance to his office.

“Come on then, may I offer you a cup of tea?” Dumbledore asked as he entered his office.

“Yes, thank you.” Rose looked around and found to her surprise Severus sitting in front of the fire, legs crossed and fingers steepled. He stood up after the office door was closed and came with two long strides across the room to embrace Rose.

“Are you ok? Merlin, I´m so sorry!” He pressed his face into her hair.

Dumbledore was suddenly overly busy preparing the tea and turned his back to the scene.

Rose savoured Severus´ closeness for the fraction of a split-second before she pushed him away. She managed a rudimentary apologetical smile and brought some space between them.

“I´m fine. I already guessed that there was no ill will intended and you had not planned to poison me.”

Severus groaned.

“No, I hadn´t. And I call myself a Potions Master,” he sighed bitterly.

“Well, well, Severus. Even the greatest amongst us are not without fault.” Dumbledore smiled softly and set a tray with tea on the coffee table in front of the fire. “Please, have a seat.”

Rose and Severus joined the older man and waited, Severus seemed as less informed about their presence as Rose was.

“Well, I see your feelings blossom like flowers in spring,” The Headmaster remarked merrily and watched the young people in front of him. “But to my sorrow the rumours do as well,” he added and looked over his glasses, a light frown creasing his forehead.

Rose´s stomach cramped painfully as Dumbledore mentioned so nonchalantly the possibility of Severus and her in a more intimate relationship and glanced at the man. Severus, however, stared blankly to the Headmaster, his expression completely void of any emotions.

“Of course you know about the difficulties a relationship like yours evokes, though I see no problem to cope with that when you are discrete.”

“Albus, I won´t be rude, but…” Severus started.

“Ah,” Dumbledore interrupted him. “Unfortunately the very most things said after that, are rude, indeed.”

“Fine. Let´s speak open. What do you want? I don´t think we´re here for tea and listen to your flowery speeches.”

Rose gasped shocked about Severus´ tone of voice, but Dumbledore seemed not bothered with that, he even smiled mildly.

“Severus, always so impatient and demanding. But all right. I´m worried about all the rumours concerning the two of you. Students are observant and even the staff speculates about your changed behaviour. And some students take offence on that behaviour as you see with Miss Brown.”

“Albus, you know about our feelings for each other, but we´re in no relationship. Rose is not of age yet.”

“I see… Then you will wait until she is?” Rose noticed how less convinced Dumbledore seemed.

“I wouldn´t, but it´s obviously not my decision. Actually nothing concerning the two of us seems to be any of my decision,” Rose started bleakly but ended with rising anger what most of all earned her a raised eyebrow from Severus.

“I see,” Dumbledore repeated, but seemed not inclined to deepen Rose´s vague accusations. “Who knows about it yet?”

Severus shrugged and shook his head.

Rose breathed in. She knew Severus would be less than thrilled with the list.

“Well, Hermione and Remus know about it and Charlie, Oliver, Draco and Narcissa Malfoy and Ron and Madam Pomfrey,” she enumerated, using her fingers for clarification.

“Poppy?” Dumbledore sounded astonished.

“She overheard me yesterday as Hermione, Draco and Ron visited me. She promised to stay quiet about it.”

“Oh, I wouldn´t worry about her secrecy,” Dumbledore said and nodded. Trust Poppy Pomfrey to keep any secret safe and hidden.

“Rose, you´re worse than someone under the influence of Babbling Beverage,” Severus muttered.

“Just because you never talk with anyone doesn´t mean I don´t need to talk. And Ron and Madam Pomfrey was by accident,” she retorted with a glare.

“How can one accidentally blab about something like that?” Severus raised one eyebrow.

“Something like that? Blimey, you can´t even find a name for what we have. Why can´t you simply call it relationship?” Rose gestured wildly in front of Severus´ face.

“My, you two are adorable. I´m glad I guessed it right,” Dumbledore chuckled and promptly had the attention of the other two, though this was probably his intention because it seemed otherwise they´d have started an argument for real. Severus still gritted his teeth, obviously in the effort to keep the words unsaid that had to perch on the tip of his tongue. Dumbledore nodded to himself, smiling self-forgotten.

“I knew it! You planned something like that to happen…That´s why you insisted that I teach Rose!” Severus finally exclaimed exasperated and added with again increasing anger, “And that´s why you think I should give it a try, regardless the fact that Bellatrix creeps around the castle with a bottle full of Polyjuice Potion.”

“Now, now Severus. I foremost hoped you would lay the old grudge aside, but if you imply that I had hopes that you would come closer then you are right. And for Bellatrix…”

“You damned, intermeddling, old buffer!” Severus snapped, but it was Rose who surprised them both by jumping up and shouting.

“You´re both impossible! Professor, honestly, there are things you don´t have to stick your nose into. My love life is certainly one of it!” She pointed enraged at Dumbledore before turning to Severus, but seeing him, looking properly at him for the first time in days, let every word die in her throat. He sat in his chair and looked like if she´d slapped him, his own anger had left him and now he lacked his usual composure and emotionless attitude. In fact he looked tired and completely, utterly unhappy.

Rose exhaled and shook her head.

“I wish you simply could follow your heart and stop making us both unhappy,” she whispered and then turned to leave.

“I always saw more in you two than you did. You can help and heal each other as I believe, you just need to allow it to happen.” Dumbledore gave Severus a pointed look. “Being in love and allowing oneself to be happy is no shame, Severus,” he added and dismissed Severus to follow Rose.

At the foot of the stairs, right behind the Gargoyle, Severus caught Rose. He snatched the hem of her sleeve and forced her to stop.

“Rose.”

“Please don´t do this to me when you haven´t changed your mind,” she said quietly. She hoped so much Dumbledore’s words, especially the last ones, could change anything in Severus and her hope was stoked as he lifted his hand and touched Rose´s face, softly stroking her cheek. His expression was warm and Rose could see clearly his feelings shining in his eyes.

“So, you made a decision?” she asked.

Heavily sighing, Severus let his hand drop to his side.

“I see,” Rose said bitterly and walked straight past him and up to her common room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you lovely people :)
> 
> The end is near, but also your release. You almost made it to the long awaited Rose slash Severus part. It´s coming. Soon. Very soon.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>> 

The following week flew by in a blink. Rose learned partly to shut her ears against the whispering around her but gladly no one was stupid enough to gossip too loud anymore, not after everyone had seen what had happened to Lavender.

That still didn´t change much considering Rose was still frustrated because Severus made no attempts to change the status of their relationship, but they reached for the second time in their shared history a truce, even though a fragile one. It was everything but easy, but they managed to stay in the same room without shouting at each other and for Severus´ part without touching her out of place of a normal teacher-student-relationship. Still, being with Severus without being with him ate away at Rose.

“Why can´t he just forget about that horrible woman and choose me?” Rose whispered during breakfast.

“Because he´s a stupid, greasy, old man!” Ron ranted but managed to coax a grin from Rose nonetheless. Draco pressed an affectionate kiss on Ron´s cheek.

“Good, go on and cheer her up.” 

“Yeah better me than you, huh? Would probably be a bit misplaced here in the middle of the Great Hall when everyone is having breakfast,” Ron smirked.

“Ron!” Rose hissed and blushed.

“I´m afraid I would not live long enough to enjoy it,” Draco grinned and glanced shortly up to his godfather.

“Draco!” Rose slapped his shoulder. “Gosh, boys! Stop it!”

The four friends giggled and laughed until Dumbledore stood up.

“Wow, again an announcement,” Draco whispered.

“Please lend me a willing ear! I have fantastic news. Next Friday, we will arrange a Valentine´s Ball so we all can celebrate a day dedicated to love. I hope it will be great. Seeing that there is so little love in our world right now, we really should try to share some on this day!”

Dumbledore beamed all the time, but the faces of the other teachers looked either strained or frozen. Rose shared a brief glance with Remus, who looked like always mostly neutral before she looked to Severus. Their gazes met for a short time, but instead of looking away, he shook unnerved his head.

***

“A ball, huh?” Rose asked as she started to cut bitterroot. Severus hadn´t said a single word until now and slowly she thought it was ridiculous. The last days, he had at least tried to have a normal conversation with her.

After further five minutes of silence, Rose put her knife away and stared across the room at Severus´ back. Furrowing her brow, she noticed his rigid posture. Sudden realisation hit her.

“She summons you,” she breathed and walked over, her bubbling potion forgotten. “Please don´t go.” Rose grabbed his arm. Severus turned and looked pale-faced down at her.

“I have no choice. You can wait here if you want or go back to your common room.” He couldn´t ignore Bellatrix´ call any longer. Quickly he grabbed his cloak and made for the door.

“No. Please! Severus, please don´t go to her.” Rose followed him out of his office. He made no attempts to stop instead walked faster. But Rose was determined to change his mind. Though he ignored her, Rose begged him all the way through the castle to not react to the call. They reached the end of the Hogwarts grounds. Severus stopped so abruptly that Rose ran straight into him.

“Rose! Go back to the castle! I´ll let you know when I´m back.” He turned once again and left the wards.

Rose watched him, her mind raced furiously. Severus began to disapparate and Rose did the only thing she could think of. She stepped out of the wards too and grabbed his arm just the second before he was gone.

***

Severus apparated to the place Bellatrix had summoned him to. But as he arrived he spun around and with gut crashing terror saw Rose. His mind ran wild and he did the only thing he could think of. He whispered a charm to immobilise her and looked a mere second at her shocked face before he disillusioned her and turned in time to see Bellatrix open the door of an old, mostly demolished house.

“Severus!” Bellatrix smiled broadly and opened her arms.

Severus felt like frozen inside and it took him all his willpower to walk. But he had to. He had to bring space between Rose´s position and himself.

“I didn´t think you´d make it. Well, no one thought it. But your will to live is obviously strong.” Bellatrix stood right in front of Severus and laid one hand flat against his chest, the tips of her fingers twitched as if eager to rip his clothes away and admire the scars, she knew perfectly well were there. “I assure you, I won´t try again. But it doesn´t mean I won´t have a little fun with you, right?” Bellatrix cackled and Voldemort´s remaining followers tuned in.

Severus only stood there and waited, but behind his indifferent mask raged a storm. It took most of his attention to not think of Rose and not give her insufficient hiding place away with glancing back over his shoulder, though the urge was strong. So he got caught off guard as Bellatrix´ shoved him away and sent him flying to the ground.

“What is with you? Have you lost all your dignity?” She sneered from above him and pressed a sharp heel into his chest.

Everyone could see it made Bellatrix furious that Snape didn’t react to her. And all of them were more than relieved not to be on the receiving end of her wand at this moment.

“Fine, if you won´t talk to me maybe I can make you scream at least,” Bellatrix spat and pointed her wand at him.

All what was left of his concentration, Severus willed into not giving in for her satisfaction. He gnashed his teeth. His fingernails dug bloody half-moons into his palm, but he vowed not to scream.

He failed as soon as Bellatrix was finished with her warm up.

Unable to move or to do anything to help Severus, Rose stood only a few metres away and had no other choice as to watch how Bellatrix tortured him. She felt tears flow down her face. Bellatrix said none of the spells aloud, but every new impact rocked visibly through Severus´ body. In the background stood Malfoy. Full of hate Rose looked at him. He was supposed to be on their side now, wasn´t he? And still he stood there and did nothing while Severus writhed on the ground, screaming in agony, just for the amusement of this mad woman.

And then suddenly the screaming stopped. Rose´s heart stopped too. Severus didn´t move. Panic grasped Rose, but she still couldn´t move. That meant he lived. His spells would cease when he died. She remembered that right, didn´t she? She raked her brain. She was sure Remus had mentioned it. What if she remembered it wrong? She couldn´t move, she couldn´t alarm anyone. And no one knew where she was, not to mention Severus.

Severus. More tears run down Rose´s cheeks. But then Severus groaned lowly and Rose would´ve placed a hand above her heart in relief  if she hadn´t been immobile.

She watched anxiously how Bellatrix crouched next to Severus.

“I want that you deliver this to Dumbledore,” she whispered and held her wand to her temple. The silvery, shining ribbon of memory looked much too pretty to belong to this woman. Bellatrix touched Severus´ temple with it and the memory slipped inside.

“Tell him I won´t give up.” Casually she stood up and swaggered out of sight.

The new memory made his mind foggy and he had to shake his head to clear it. It felt like an intrusion. He felt the new memory but couldn't get access to it and it caused him a headache. However, he ached all over, but he had to leave. Panting, Severus heaved his abused body on all fours. The first two attempts to stand up failed miserable and he heard the laughter of the ones watching his struggle against his own body. Tediously he managed finally to stumble to his feet. He glanced secretly around and tried to guess where he had appeared earlier. He had only one try to find Rose. He straightened himself and took about ten steps away from the house, his hands held up as if to find balance.

“Still here, Severus? Do you long for more?” Bellatrix reappeared from inside the ruin. Without warning, she sent a hex his way but missed him. Severus heart raced painfully in his chest, somewhere where the hex had gone stood Rose. He made another step. He had to be right, if not…

He started to apparate as a second hex flew his way and grasped into the air. A rush of relief filled him as he felt his fingers close around something solid.

Just outside the wards of Hogwarts they materialised and Severus took the charms from Rose.

She was pale and her face wet from tears. A deep cut ran over her left cheek, spilling blood on her clothes. The first wave of relief subsided.

“Have you lost your mind?” he shouted suddenly. “How can you do something so blatantly reckless, stupid and unconsidered? You could have died and all would´ve been for nothing!” Severus shook with fury. “I could have lost you,” Severus added with trembling voice and hauled Rose into his arms. “I could have lost you,” he repeated barely audible.

Rose clung to him and buried her face into his chest, ignoring the stabbing pain in her cheek.

“I´m sorry. I´m so sorry. I know that you saved me only because you reacted immediately. Please forgive me.” She sobbed uncontrollably.

Severus held her until they both stopped trembling.

“Rose, I need to go to Dumbledore. He has to see the memory.”

“Don´t send me away.” Rose looked with big, wide eyes up to him.

Severus took a breath but exhaled without saying his first thought. It was no use to send her to the infirmary, she wouldn´t go anyway.

“Ok. Wait in my quarters. The password to my office is _Veratrum viride_. Go, I´ll follow. We can´t be seen together.” He laid his hand on his forehead and forced himself to breathe deep and slow while he watched Rose walk over the grass up the hill to the castle. As she was out of sight, he decided to take a detour route just to be sure.

***

His meeting with Dumbledore was short. Briefly he described what had happened. Dumbledore´s gaze darkened as he heard about Rose, but he kept his thoughts to himself. After Severus had finished his report, Dumbledore took the memory. He didn´t put it in his Pensive like Severus had expected but let it slip into his own mind instead. Without further explanation he dismissed Severus who was confused but not surprised. The Headmaster was as secretive as brilliant. Only a fool would assume to be fully included in the man´s reasoning.

Down in his office, Severus found himself with an arm full of a still upset girl as soon as he walked into the room. The adrenaline from earlier had faded, though, and he felt decidedly weak.

“It´s ok. Your actions caused no harm…This time. Just promise you´ll do anything like that again.” Severus held Rose´s face so she looked at him and he could examine her cheek. Obviously she had managed to close the wound by herself and quite decent.

Shaken, Rose nodded.

The weight Severus had felt pressed onto his body lifted and eased. He smiled slightly and peered at Rose. He was so relieved that she was well that he didn’t question his actions as he bent down to kiss her, but she did and pushed him away.

“You deem it safe now?”

Severus stared at Rose then shook his head. “No.”

“Then you just changed your mind?”

He felt irritation creep up and clicked his tongue. This woman would make him lose his sanity.

“I only wanted to be close to you after this situation.”

“Yes, and I want to be **with** you,” Rose said insistently.

Helplessly Severus sighed but shook his head in refusal.

"Well, then no Mister! You don´t do this to me. Either you want me or not, but there´s nothing in between. You have to decide."

"But Bellatrix..." Severus said without much conviction.

"No, damn her! I have enough of Bellatrix! First you won´t admit your feelings because she could find out, now you won´t start a relationship because you fear she might possibly under certain circumstances use a potion to steal someone´s identity. Maybe yours or maybe not. Bloody hell, man! This is **our** life, but everything only revolves around this woman! If you love me you will finally make a decision!" Furiously she glared up at him, her chest heaving under every forceful breath.

“Damn Rose, why are you doing this? I can´t simply act against my conviction. There are two sides. The one that wants nothing more than to be with you. And the other that says it´s impossible and we can´t do this because the risk is just too high.”

Rose spread her fingers over his chest, gazing seriously up to him, all anger gone.

“If that were really true you wouldn´t again and again try to kiss me. You´d keep your distance until you made up your mind. But you can´t obviously and I start to think that Bellatrix is just your excuse because you´re afraid to get seriously involved with me. Maybe it is because you could lose me or maybe it is something entirely different, really. I don´t care that much what reason you have behind it, but you need to make a decision. Either you want me or not. I can´t live with this any longer.”

“I know,” Severus breathed. Never before had he felt this helpless in a situation. He wanted to make the right decision, but what was right? He hated hurting Rose.

“Are you going to the ball next week?” Rose asked suddenly.

“I have to,” Severus said. The frown on his forehead deepening as Rose smiled.

“Good. Then you´ll decide then. I will wait for you. If you come and ask me for a dance, I´ll take it as your agreement to be with me. If you don´t ask, well, then I´ll put an end to this to not get more hurt.” Rose inclined her head slightly and shrugged, more casually than she actually felt.

“You don´t make it easy.” Severus rubbed over his face, feeling a bone-deep wariness.

“Why? It´s simple, isn´t it? But it´s on you. I need you to make this decision.”

Severus took her hand and pressed a small kiss onto her palm. Rose allowed it but then pulled her hand away.

“I will go now.”

Rose walked away but stopped briefly at the door.

“I won´t come to extra lessons next week,” she said and closed the door behind her.


	18. Chapter 18

<<>><<>><<>><<>><>><<>> 

Hermione sat down on Rose´s mattress.

“Rose? Do you think that you´re doing the right thing?”

“Why?”

“You´re so upset that you barely ate the last few days.” Hermione touched sympathetically Rose´s shoulder.

“It´s my own fault, isn´t it? I hold the gun to his head and force him to a decision, but I´m so afraid he won´t come on Friday.”

“But you need clarity. And maybe it´s better when it´s over finally…In one or another way.”

Rose said nothing.

“No?” Hermione asked.

“I love him and he loves me. Why is it so bloody complicated?” Rose sat up and wrapped her arms around her bent legs.

“Because nothing is simple when emotions are involved.” Hermione turned her head and watched Rose who frowned with curled lips.

“Stop being so disgustingly clever,” Rose snorted and added, “But you´re right, like always.”

“I know,” Hermione gave her a small smile. “And now let´s do something to cheer you up,” she tried to pull Rose out of the bed and as that wouldn´t work she pushed her.

“I don´t want to be cheered up. Just let me moulder here in misery,” Rose sighed with a dramatic facial expression and clawed on the mattress.

“No way!” Hermione jumped with a laugh on the bed, causing Rose to fall out of it, eventually. Grumbling Rose sat up and leant against her bed, peering up.

“Why are you so disgustingly happy, Mione?”

“Eh…” Hermione blushed and dropped down next to Rose. She bit her lip to contain the grin but failed miserably and chuckled.

“Oh no…The twins, what have they done now?” Rose chuckled too. She would never admit it too loud, but Hermione was rather good with lifting her mood. She found always the right thing to say or do even if it was sometimes annoying.

“Nothing it´s just a letter,” Hermione grinned broadly and chewed on her bottom lip.

“With only naughtiness. True?”

“Mostly…” Hermione´s grin became even broader. “God, it´s practically porn,” she whispered and her cheeks turned pink.

“Hmmmm, you are so lucky, you know that? You have not only one man who loves you but two. And I? I have **him**. Although I don´t really have him and that´s the problem…” Rose started all over again.

Hermione opened her mouth to silence her as the door flew open and Lavender and Parvati came in, giggling manically and started rummaging through their wardrobes.

Rose and Hermione looked at each other, shook their heads and sighed. Those girly-girls were even under normal circumstances nothing they could stand, but Lavender´s behaviour made it not easier to like her. Rose nodded to the door and signalled that she would go as Lavender started talking. Hermione pulled Rose back and inched further down so they wouldn´t be seen.

“All this kissing is really awful! I mean, who are they? And why are they suddenly making out so shamelessly in public?” Lavender groused and proceeded obviously with a topic they´d discussed before.

“Well, maybe they really love each other. And they are somewhat cute together,” Parvati said. Rose smiled slightly, Parvati could be such a good soul.

“Ron is just a dickhead but Malfoy…The way he drools over her, he only waits for his chance to fuck our Saint-Potter.”

“Uh, rude,” Parvati snickered gleefully, all her goodness gone. “What do you think about Rose and this thing with Snape? Rose seems rather distanced to him lately.”

“Hah, they can give me detentions forever or write home. No one can convince me that I´m wrong. I say they fuck in every of their so called extra lessons. He teaches her probably only how to expertly suck his dick.” Oh Merlin Lavender had a language. Rose paled with anger, but Hermione took her hand and shook her head.

“And holy Granger,” Lavender laughed sardonically, “I bet a good fuck would do it for her as well. Maybe she´d be not so prudent and chaste anymore.”

Rose had finally enough. Gritting her teeth, she stood up and glared at the two girls. Parvati shrieked and tried to hide behind the door to her wardrobe. Lavender looked Rose over with arched eyebrow and then smirked.

“Oh Merlin, I´m so sorry we eavesdropped on you,” Rose said with over the top false regret and before Lavender could even open her mouth. Slowly Rose crossed the space to Lavender and the smile on her face turned icy cold as she added equally frosty, “I hope you suffocate on your malignity!” With her head held high, Rose seized Hermione´s hand and pulled her out of the room.

“Jeez, I was really worried you would yell at them or hex them into toads,” Hermione giggled as she and Rose emerged in the common room.

“What is with Umbridge?” Ron asked from the sofa in front of the fire. Draco lazed with his head in Ron´s lap and peered over the book he read.

“Awwww, look, aren´t they sweet?” Rose teased. She and Hermione joined the boys and told them about Lavender.

“She´s such a piece of…”

“Tut, tut, tut.” Draco put a finger across Ron´s mouth. “Don´t sully this little mouth of yours with such nasty words,” he said sweetly with a not at all innocent grin that made Ron promptly blush.

“Uh, boys! Stop it!” Rose screwed her face. “Let´s go down to dinner…”

Ron immediately jumped up and was already through the portrait hole as the others only stood up.

“Draco, stop irking Ron,” Rose grinned and linked her arm with him.

Talking and joking, they strode into the Great Hall. Rose like always looked first to the Head Table where her gaze fell on Remus.

“Oh, damn! I forgot to give Remus my Inferi-essay. He wanted it this afternoon. I´ll just hurry back and get it.” She turned hastily and collided unexpectedly with something solid. Losing her balance, she fell backwards and hit her head with a nasty, thudding sound on the stone floor.

“Ouch!” Her hand shot up to her head, surely she would get a bump. She peered up to find out who had knocked her down and looked directly into jet-black eyes.

For a short moment Severus forgot about his public destined, cold, unapproachable habit and knelt in a flurry down beside Rose.

“Are you hurt?” he asked softly, a deep frown creasing his brow.

“I feel dizzy,” Rose closed her eyes and after opening them again, gazed at her hand. “But I´m not bleeding, that´s at least something…”

“Let me…” Severus said and touched the already swollen location gently before he pointed with his wand at it. The pain behind Rose´s eyes subsided as well as the throbbing at the back of her head. She looked up and the tiniest of a smile lifted one corner of her mouth.

For maybe a short moment too long neither of them said a word and they just stared at each other. The tension was almost palpable. The students around them went quiet and Severus snapped back in.

He stood up and straightened himself but gave Rose his hand and pulled her to her feet.

“You need to be more careful, Miss Potter” His voice was indifferent, almost lazy again.

Rose knew that he was only acting but she still couldn´t help being close to tears as he walked past her without a further glance.

A hand came to rest on her shoulder.

“How bad is it?” Hermione asked not only worried about Rose´s head.

Rose swallowed.

“I have no idea.” She lifted her chin and walked as graceful as momentarily possible out of the hall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read until now and held on. I know the story is not always satisfying and Rose and Severus have to sort a lot of things out and finally get their shit together and and and...They do and a lot more, in the next part.  
> I don´t know yet when I upload part 4 but most likely around Sunday, latest on Monday. Keep looking :)
> 
> Thank you too to the lovely mrsmalfoy08 for betaing ! You help me a lot!!!! :)


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